Friday, July 15, 2011

30DC: Week Nine


Thinking about what 13-year-old Stephany pictured 23-year-old Stephany would be like is tough. Back then, I knew I wanted a husband and children. I imagined I would find my footing and self-confidence during high school and college and meet the man of my dreams. He would be tall and strong, probably dark-haired. He would have a musical laugh and make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. He would be a Christian and we would attend a couples’ Bible study where, for the first time in my life, I would be a part of the popular crowd. We would perhaps be planning our wedding, or maybe still dating. I would have graduated from college and immersed in a career I love.

I don’t think 13-year-old Stephany pictured 23-year-old Stephany as a recent college graduate, still single (and still very self-conscious and shy around boys), living with her mom, and working a part-time job that doesn’t fulfill her in the least. I don’t think she would be excited about the fact that she still depends on support from her mother.

So what do I hope my future will be like? It’s a tough question because I know what I hope is not always what will be.

I hope to have a husband, someone who loves me unconditionally and makes me feel special. I know every day won’t be sunshine and roses but I know the man I someday marry will be worth fighting for.

I hope to have established a writing career. I want to be published and well on my way to being a full-time writer. Yes, it’s a lofty dream and yes, I need to do a lot of work with my writing but this has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl and I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life.

I hope to be healthy and happy. It’s a slow process but I hope to one day be able to control my eating habits and find a consistent exercise pattern.

I hope to have a family. Right now, pregnancy and having children is the furthest thing from my mind. (Well, aside from the fact that I am constantly worried people are going to ask me how far along I am whenever their gaze drops to my stomach. Erg.) But I imagine it will be something I long for once I find a partner in life.

I hope to be happy with where I am at the moment. I am always so worried about the future, about not being at a place I “should” be, about why I’m so different than other people my age. Just to be in the moment and content in that.


  1. The moment I said "I will" and became B's wife. It was the single happiest, most satisfying, and most wonderful moment in my life.

    For the smaller, every day moments that are satisfying - I love finishing a good workout, I love the feeling of making the smart food choice, and I love teaching a fun and great music lesson to a student.

  2. Oh I love this post! I've felt the most satisfied in the past when I finished a long shift at work and I knew I had a nice long day off to myself the next day, any time I was on vacation, waking up early & just going to the beach, getting through my first semester of University which nearly killed me, every time I get a new article published! And when I was doing the 30 Day Shred I felt pretty darn good. I really need to get back on that! 

  3. I hope it's not pathetic that one of my most satisfying moments is still the high school commencement speech I gave. And another is making my tough-as-nails boss laugh so hard he had to leave the table to spit out coffee!

  4. Oh, yes. I imagine that will one day be my most satisfying moment. :) 

    Finishing a good workout is just the best. Feels so good.

  5. Those are all super satisfying things! The 30 Day Shred is intense so don't feel too bad about getting off that. Sometimes, Jillian hurts me so much I just want to punch the screen! Ha.

  6. Not pathetic at all! That is a pretty awesome moment. :)

  7. When I wake up in the middle of the night, thinking I have an hour before I have to wake up and it’s only MIDNIGHT! (This happened to me last night. Best ever.)   LOVE THIS ONE!

  8. KJHartenstein7/15/11, 11:15 AM

    I love this Steph! What a fabulous post and I hope you get everything that you hope for.

  9. Girly: I believe all of these things will be yours one day... I have known your heart from your blog for almost two years now... and you deserve every little bit of these desires.


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