Friday, July 15, 2011

30DC: Week Nine

30-Day-Challenge-9

Thinking about what 13-year-old Stephany pictured 23-year-old Stephany would be like is tough. Back then, I knew I wanted a husband and children. I imagined I would find my footing and self-confidence during high school and college and meet the man of my dreams. He would be tall and strong, probably dark-haired. He would have a musical laugh and make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. He would be a Christian and we would attend a couples’ Bible study where, for the first time in my life, I would be a part of the popular crowd. We would perhaps be planning our wedding, or maybe still dating. I would have graduated from college and immersed in a career I love.

I don’t think 13-year-old Stephany pictured 23-year-old Stephany as a recent college graduate, still single (and still very self-conscious and shy around boys), living with her mom, and working a part-time job that doesn’t fulfill her in the least. I don’t think she would be excited about the fact that she still depends on support from her mother.

So what do I hope my future will be like? It’s a tough question because I know what I hope is not always what will be.

I hope to have a husband, someone who loves me unconditionally and makes me feel special. I know every day won’t be sunshine and roses but I know the man I someday marry will be worth fighting for.

I hope to have established a writing career. I want to be published and well on my way to being a full-time writer. Yes, it’s a lofty dream and yes, I need to do a lot of work with my writing but this has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl and I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life.

I hope to be healthy and happy. It’s a slow process but I hope to one day be able to control my eating habits and find a consistent exercise pattern.

I hope to have a family. Right now, pregnancy and having children is the furthest thing from my mind. (Well, aside from the fact that I am constantly worried people are going to ask me how far along I am whenever their gaze drops to my stomach. Erg.) But I imagine it will be something I long for once I find a partner in life.

I hope to be happy with where I am at the moment. I am always so worried about the future, about not being at a place I “should” be, about why I’m so different than other people my age. Just to be in the moment and content in that.

9 comments:

  1. The moment I said "I will" and became B's wife. It was the single happiest, most satisfying, and most wonderful moment in my life.

    For the smaller, every day moments that are satisfying - I love finishing a good workout, I love the feeling of making the smart food choice, and I love teaching a fun and great music lesson to a student.

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  2. Oh I love this post! I've felt the most satisfied in the past when I finished a long shift at work and I knew I had a nice long day off to myself the next day, any time I was on vacation, waking up early & just going to the beach, getting through my first semester of University which nearly killed me, every time I get a new article published! And when I was doing the 30 Day Shred I felt pretty darn good. I really need to get back on that! 

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  3. I hope it's not pathetic that one of my most satisfying moments is still the high school commencement speech I gave. And another is making my tough-as-nails boss laugh so hard he had to leave the table to spit out coffee!

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  4. Oh, yes. I imagine that will one day be my most satisfying moment. :) 

    Finishing a good workout is just the best. Feels so good.

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  5. Those are all super satisfying things! The 30 Day Shred is intense so don't feel too bad about getting off that. Sometimes, Jillian hurts me so much I just want to punch the screen! Ha.

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  6. Not pathetic at all! That is a pretty awesome moment. :)

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  7. When I wake up in the middle of the night, thinking I have an hour before I have to wake up and it’s only MIDNIGHT! (This happened to me last night. Best ever.)   LOVE THIS ONE!

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  8. KJHartenstein7/15/11, 11:15 AM

    I love this Steph! What a fabulous post and I hope you get everything that you hope for.

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  9. Girly: I believe all of these things will be yours one day... I have known your heart from your blog for almost two years now... and you deserve every little bit of these desires.

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Comments make me all giddy with excitement.

 
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