50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 10

Would you believe it? This is the END of this post series! I started this in July 2010 and slowly worked my way through the questions. They were thought-provoking, deep, and insightful. I’m now on the hunt for more questions like these because they really made me stop and think. You can find the entire list here.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I would be more vocal about my faith. I find it very hard to be as active as I want to be because let’s face it: Christians don’t always lead the greatest example. I know more Christians that do than don’t but all the world cares about are those that are radical and a little nuts. It turns them off to anything involving faith or religion (which I can’t say I blame them for, some Christians even leave me with a bad taste in my mouth!), and makes me a little scared to fully share my faith in the way I want to for fear of the judgment I will inevitably receive. I’m trying to worry less and less about that, but I still care way too much about the opinions of others to fully dive headfirst in sharing about my walk with Jesus.

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

I could take this literally and say I noticed it this morning when I took my earbuds out at the end of my run. Hehe. VERY easy to notice my breathing then! But I think there’s a deeper meaning behind the question, as in, when was the last time I was still, silent, and focused on the here and now. I have a tendency to get more focused on what’s happening next that being present and alive in this moment is something I struggle with. I try to do this on my drive to work, to not be thinking of how many days until the weekend or what I’m having for lunch or anything but the present and being happy to be alive and focused on my life at that moment.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love the relationship I have with my mom. She’s always there for me, 100%, but she’s also become my very best friend.

I love my family. Every single one of them, including my 16-year-old twin cousins who are going through an extremely rough time right now and acting out because of it. No matter what, I still think those girls are amazing individuals and I wish I knew how to better show them that.

I love my dog. And my Instagram feed showcases that immensely.

I love football, food, and blogging. I love long emails to my blog BFF, funny Twitter convo’s, and cruising. I love reading, my Kindle, and the fact that I can now borrow books from the library on my Kindle. I love that I have a job to come to, even if some days are harder than others. I love Florida, sunshine, and immediate access to beaches and theme parks. I love a clean house, organizing, and Publix subs. I love crossing out my to-do list, eyeliner, and Post-It notes.

Most of all, I love the opportunities that await me as I get older, more mature, and more certain in myself and my abilities. I love that I’m learning to throw off the cape of self-doubt and uncertainty and plant myself out there for the world. I love myself.

49. In about 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

I’m pretty sure I will remember what I did yesterday. (I’m writing this on Monday afternoon. I will never forget the crushing defeat of the 49ers loss. My brother was devastated and my heart broke for him.)

But will I remember what I did this past week? No. I won’t. I may remember bits and snippets. A certain scent or song may bring me back to a time when I was a little marketing assistant at a small company, but generally, I won’t remember much. It puts a lot of things into perspective, doesn’t it?

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

If this question had been asked a year ago, I know I would have answered it differently. But I can say with absolute certainty that I am making decisions for myself. I am controlling my own destiny, taking the bull by the horns, and all other cliché phrases. There’s something exciting about getting older and understanding yourself more that leads to not ever wanting to go back to that stagnant way of living where life seems out of control and decisions out of your reach. I’m standing up for myself more, making my own decisions, and carving out my own life. I’m going to still make lots of mistakes and still have pitfalls to make my way through. But the fun thing about making your own decisions is the learning process because it’s through that process that you learn the most about yourself and what you crave from life.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9]