Wednesday, February 3, 2010


About a year ago, one of my favorite authors, Erynn Mangum, wrote a series on future husbands. She is someone I highly admire as a writer, as a Christian, and as a person. I love anything to do with talking about future husbands and one of the points she hit on was what we want in a husband.

I could make a list of 25 things I want in my future husband. I can be very picky and especially picky when choosing the man I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with! But Erynn talked about having two lists: Non-Negotiables and Trivial Points.

Non-Negotiables are things you want in your future husband and things you won't compromise on. Trivial points are qualities you would like your future husband to have but are willing to compromise on. Today, I'm listing my Non-Negotiables in my future husband:

My future husband must be involved in a deep, committed relationship with Jesus Christ. I want a man who challenges me to dig deeper into my faith and makes me a better Christian. I don't want a guy who is lukewarm in his faith but someone so on fire for Jesus, it inspires me. I'm not sure I'm cut out to be a pastor's wife but I do want a guy who has a relationship with Jesus Christ and knows Him intimately.

My future husband must make me laugh. I'm a girl who loves to laugh. And I love to be around funny people. I've been told I'm quite witty and about 75% of my conversation with people is sarcasm. I need a guy with a great sense of humor who never fails to find the funny in situations. I need a guy who laughs at funny commercials and watches stupid comedy movies with me. And I want a guy who can easily make me laugh.

My future husband must not smoke or drink. I hope I'm not offending anyone by saying how much I despise smoking. I think it's a disgusting habit and I don't know how anyone my age could even start, with the way the schools jammed down the fact of how bad smoking is for you growing up. And I can't marry a smoker. It disgusts me. And I also don't want someone who is a big drinker. I'm not talking about having wine with dinner or a drink while we're out to eat, but someone who likes getting drunk and acting like a college frat boy? So not my cup of tea! I've never been drunk, never want to be drunk, and don't see the point of getting drunk. And I won't marry someone who views this behavior as acceptable.

My future husband must be a family man. While it would be ideal that my future husband has an awesome mother, a funny father, and a sister that become my new isn't that important to me. I do want to have a good relationship with my in-laws because I think it makes life a whole lot easier but that's more of a Trivial Point. I want my future husband to want to have a family. Right now, I'm leaning towards having four kids. (But let's see how I feel after I have my first!) I want kids most definitely. And I want us to be a family where our kids come first, not our jobs. I see way too many workaholics that don't have time to be with their kids and I don't want it to be that way with us. I want us to be a soccer family, go on vacations together, and have dinner together every night.

So there's my life of Non-Negotiables for my future husband. Four things I am seeking in my future mate and things I'm not willing to compromise on. Next week will be a lighter post with the Trivial Points that are important to me but not that important that I can't compromise on them.

You tell me: What are you looking for in your future husband? If you're married, did you have any sort of list of what you were seeking in your future husband? (Or wife, for the two guys who read my blog...)
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