On Why I'm Choosing to Wait

I was recently personally attacked by someone I care deeply about on my decision to wait until I was married to live with my spouse and have sex with them. While I do feel like this is an unusual choice this day and age (even amongst the Christian sector), I don't understand why someone would get offended by my choice.

This is my personal decision. I'm not saying that I think everyone has to live this way, or that you're a bad person by living with your girlfriend or boyfriend before marriage. In fact, I am envious that you have found someone you love so much, you want to be with them 24/7. Finding love is not always easy, and staying in love can be even harder.

I don't believe that you don't truly know someone before you live with them. While yes, living with someone is completely different than going on dates or sharing a hotel room for a weekend, all you are learning is surface things. You're learning how they are a neat freak or OCD about keeping lights turned off when a room isn't being used. You're learning that they keep their toothbrush by the sink, instead of hanging in the specified toothbrush holder. You learn that they don't think making their bed or keeping up with the laundry is their top priority, but making sure every bill is paid on time. You learn that they like the snooze button in the morning or jump right out of bed. You learn if your partner is a morning person or a night person. Learning these things shouldn't make you fall out of love with your spouse. If it does, your love probably wasn't strong enough to begin with.

I think there's something to be said about having a romantic relationship where sex and kissing isn't the center of the relationship. You learn how to be a friend first, a lover second. You learn how to be romantic without a kiss. You get to know the person's heart in a deeper, more intimate fashion. In some ways, knowing a person's heart can be more intimate and require more trust than the physical aspect of love.

I'm waiting for my wedding day to share my first kiss with my future husband. I'm waiting for my wedding night to give him my virginity. And I will wait until we are one to share a home with him. It's a personal decision, something I have thought long and hard about. It feels right to me. Choosing to live with your girlfriend or boyfriend before marriage doesn't make you a bad person in my eyes. It just means you are choosing a different path to your love story.