Hello, my name is Stephany, and I'm a yo-yo dieter.
|Oh, those shoulders!|
2008 was the year it all fell apart. I started another teaching experience (twice a week in a fourth-grade class) that was hell, ended up quitting my job in March, and gained almost all my weight back. It was a rough year for me, especially since I was realizing I was pretty awful at this teaching thing. It wasn't a great year for me and I think gaining my weight back (and slipping back into old patterns) was just the icing on the cake.
2009 was a year of new beginnings for me: new job, new major, and a new way of living. Yet the weight stayed on. Every once in a while, I'd rejoin Weight Watchers and lose some weight, but fall back to old habits and gain it all back. It's been a constant cycle for the past two years.
If I start now, I only have 35 pounds to lose. I can turn my life around when I'm young and not wind up 200+ pounds at age 25. (And for someone who's five-foot-two, that's a lot of weight to lug around.) It doesn't matter whether or not I'm "ready", it matters that I start fighting for my health now.
Completely changing your life is not easy and for me, I'm holding onto my old life with tight fists. It's a little terrifying to think of how much my life needs to change and there's a big part of me that doesn't think I can do it. And that's the part that's holding me back the most: that little voice inside my head, telling me I'll always be fat. And while I'm trying to accept myself as I am (i.e., being skinny will not solve all of my problems), I know that finding my happy weight and living a healthy lifestyle will do wonders for my self-esteem, confidence, and overall outlook on life.