I had an extremely long blog post written that I really hope you didn't read. It detailed my history of blogging and where I saw my blog going in the future. It was long. It was kind of melancholy. And I didn't like how I wrote it.
Instead, I wanted to write more about my views on blogging and the type of blogger I want to be.
You see, I'm fairly new to this blogging thing. I began this blog in August 2009 and it's been my most successful blog by far. According to Google Reader, I have 132 followers (91 on Friend Connect). I receive double digit comments on most of my posts. And I have met some of my closest friends through blogging. I have received so much advice from readers, so much inspiration from other blogs, and so much goodness from this entire community. Starting this blog was, by far, the best thing I have ever done.
Maybe my name isn't out there as much as some other bloggers. I don't have any book deals pending, there are no mean websites started because of my blog, and my following is quite small in comparison to others. But I can't compare my blogs to others. I can only do as best as I can for me. I'm not sure I want to deal with the backlash bloggers such as Caitlin and MckMama have had to deal with because I am the epitome of a sensitive person. I'm happy with the following I've developed, although I think there's nothing wrong with saying I would love more followers.
I've begun to realize that I need to get back to blogging for me, which is probably the worst thing you can do if you want to grow your blog. I want to stop needing to stick to a rigid five-day-a-week blogging schedule and spend hours a day commenting on other blogs. I want to write when I feel the need and have the time to do so. I want to be just fine with going days without checking my Reader.
My three-week break was good for this. It made me realize that there is more to life than my blog. After all, if I don't experience life, what will I have to blog about? It also made me realize that I love and need blogging. I love my blog friends. I love reading about their lives and gaining insight. I love writing blog posts and receiving feedback. I want to grow my blog and eventually move it to its own domain name.
So where is this blog going? Good question. I don't have a firm answer. I want it to grow as I grow. I'm entering a very uncertain time of my life as I graduate college in May and have no idea what I want to do. My posting's may be erratic, or they may be structured. I may post one day a week or go an entire month of blogging every single day. I keep telling myself I need to figure out what I want to do with my blog because my readers are getting confused. But, honestly, are you all that concerned about how much I'm posting? I don't think so. (Unless, of course, I go three weeks without blogging!) You all have your own lives and blogs to be concerned about.
So there you have it. Not a very clear answer. I want this blog to grow, for sure. But I also want to grow myself. And I'm beginning to see that I just need to blog for me, and worry less on what everyone is thinking about me. Because frankly, you guys have stuck around for a lot of my whiny posts, non-posts, and blog hiatuses. I think you're here to stay.