2010: A Year in Review

If I take a look back at my resolutions for 2010, this year would be a waste. I attempted to achieve them, but didn’t even come close. Yet when I think of all I accomplished, whether I resolved to or not, I can’t help but think this was a pretty big year for me. It was a year fraught with sadness, challenges, excitement, and a lot of stepping out of my comfort zone.

In 2010, I…

• Created a stunning 18-page magazine. This was by far my biggest challenge of the first four months of the year. I spent hours upon hours trying to make this magazine the best possible. I took days off work and asked big things of some special friends. I began with 18 blank pages in Adobe In Design (a program I previously had never heard of until January) and created a magazine I am fiercely proud of.
• Watched my grandma conquer cancer for the second time. In January, my family was given heart-breaking news that my grandma’s colon cancer had returned. She battled another 12 rounds of chemotherapy and was declared cancer-free in October. Later, we found out that my grandma’s doctor thought this round of cancer would defeat her and also, that the type of cancer she got the second time around has a 2% survival rating. I would say God’s still in the miracle making business, wouldn’t you?
• Ended the relationship with my father. After close to 2 years of not speaking to each other, my father finally initiated contact via a Facebook message. I e-mailed him a letter, detailing all the ways he had hurt me in the past and how much I missed him and our relationship. His scathing reply back made me realize he was never going to change, he would never take responsibility for his actions, and it was time to end this volatile relationship. In June, I replied back with a much nastier e-mail. I had given myself 2 months to calm down from his reply but I had to make my feelings known, for probably the first time in my life. Losing a parent is heartbreaking, but losing a parent because they don’t want you in their life? I can’t even begin to explain the emotional toll it takes on a person. I’m still not even close to dealing with my feelings on this.
  
• Played caretaker to my mom after she was hit by a car. The scariest day of my life happened on August 13, 2010 when my mom arrived home a mere 20 minutes after leaving for a run with blood on her face and all over her clothes. We spent 5 hours in the ER that morning and she emerged with 18 stitches above her right eyebrow, a broken left elbow, a sprained right thumb, severe abrasions on her knees, elbows, and palms, as well as multiple bruises. It was a long healing process, including her using a sling for 8 weeks, unable to work her second job for 10 weeks, and having to take 8 weeks off running (which totally messed with her marathon training). She is now back to normal, but will always have pain in her elbow if she uses it too much.
• Had my first ER visit since I was eleven. August seemed to be the month of hospital visits for my family. While washing the dishes one afternoon, a glass broke and then sliced my thumb as I tried to throw it away. I spent about 2 hours in the ER getting x-rayed and then stitched up by the real Dr. McDreamy. (Seriously, I had some rather inappropriate dreams about him weeks after my visit.) But with that visit came a hefty $2,500 doctor bill.
• Visited Orlando twice. I only took two vacations this year and they were both to Orlando, which is about 90 minutes from me. They were fun getaways, even if I did deal with a sprained ankle during one trip. And, in November, I visited Disney World for the first time since I was a kid!

• Started running. I am still hesitant to call myself a runner, but I did take up this sport somewhat this year. Over the past few months, I’ve been running pretty consistently (2-3 times a week). It’s been a struggle most days but there’s no greater feeling of accomplishment than finishing a run or crossing a finish line.
• Became a blogger. This blog is my pride and joy. It’s been the one place I can be real and honest. It’s become my mode of therapy as I write down my thoughts for the masses. I went through a lot of blogger crisis as I try to figure out where I fit in this blogging culture, but I think personal blogging is where I belong. I don’t think I’ll ever give up on being completely honest and transparent about my feelings and I like that about me. It’s hard for me to be this honest in public, so these posts have been extremely cathartic for me. And the people I’ve met through blogging makes it all worth it. I have big plans to meet a bunch of you this year, some way or another.

2010 has been a big year for me, even if it hasn’t been the best year. I can’t wait to welcome in 2011 because it’s going to be an amazing, full year with my mom running her first marathon, graduating college, and dealing with my anxiety and thoughts and feelings through therapy. And I’m excited to bring you all along for the ride!