If It Takes Me 300 Attempts, At Least I Never Quit

I’ve been going back and forth with myself on whether or not to post weekly weight updates on here. I’ve never been good at being consistent with these types of posts, but I feel like I need a place to write about the process, the good things and the bad things. I need a place to vent, a place to celebrate, and a place to share.

I’ve written about my history of weight loss in many, many, many posts. I won’t go through it again. Yesterday, I went back to Weight Watchers for what might be my 6th or 7th time. Granted, most of the times I’ve quit have been because of monetary issues but I took a nice, little 4-week hiatus from WW over the holidays because things got rather crazy. I went nuts with my eating and was constantly frustrated and disappointed in myself for not being able to control myself over the holiday season. I would end each day, saying, “I’m going to do better tomorrow,” only to continue the pattern all over again.

Over the past week, I’ve been thinking about all my WW attempts. I usually am very successful if I follow the plan, but eventually get tired of watching everything I eat and having to be so careful. It’s not as if I feel like I’m missing out or depriving myself, but rather that I just want to eat what I want, when I want. There’s a time and a place for indulging – and it’s not everyday. I look back on how many times I’ve quit and it frustrates me. Why can’t I just get it done in one fell swoop? Why do I constantly disappoint myself with these failure attempts? Here’s what I came up with:

So what.

So what if it takes me attempt after attempt after attempt? So what if I keep failing but brushing myself off and trying again? So what if it takes me another 5 years to lose just 40 lbs? This is my journey and it’s going to take me a long time to switch over to a healthy lifestyle. It will not happen over night, over the next few weeks, or even the next few months. I need to remember to take the baby steps and stop getting discouraged when I’m still living in the fat mentality three months from now. I need to celebrate the small victories and grow from the failures.

I know I would be tipping the scales at 200+ lbs if I hadn’t joined WW in 2007. It’s kept me at a steady, albeit overweight, weight. And I’ve learned so much in these 3 1/2 years of going to different WW meetings and learning from different leaders.

But I’m back. I went last night to my first meeting since the beginning of December. I was prepared to gain and prepared to gain a lot. And I did. But I’m ready to get back on the horse, take this one day at a time, and finally change my life. I’m ready to work hard and really delve deeply into what my body needs for fuel and what foods are just junk in my body.

Stats
Starting/Current Weight: 159.2 lbs
BMI: 29.1 (.9 away from obese! Holy crap.)
Net difference: +8 from my last weigh-in
Goal Weight: 120 lbs

Goal For This Week
I’ll only be giving myself one goal to achieve this week, building on the previous week’s goal (if I achieve it). For this week, my only real goal is to follow the plan and stick with my points. I want to get back on track and start feeling more in control of my body and eating habits again.

How was your eating like during the holidays? Did you overindulge, or keep it on track? How did you feel about it?