Thursday, January 13, 2011

If It Takes Me 300 Attempts, At Least I Never Quit

I’ve been going back and forth with myself on whether or not to post weekly weight updates on here. I’ve never been good at being consistent with these types of posts, but I feel like I need a place to write about the process, the good things and the bad things. I need a place to vent, a place to celebrate, and a place to share.

I’ve written about my history of weight loss in many, many, many posts. I won’t go through it again. Yesterday, I went back to Weight Watchers for what might be my 6th or 7th time. Granted, most of the times I’ve quit have been because of monetary issues but I took a nice, little 4-week hiatus from WW over the holidays because things got rather crazy. I went nuts with my eating and was constantly frustrated and disappointed in myself for not being able to control myself over the holiday season. I would end each day, saying, “I’m going to do better tomorrow,” only to continue the pattern all over again.

Over the past week, I’ve been thinking about all my WW attempts. I usually am very successful if I follow the plan, but eventually get tired of watching everything I eat and having to be so careful. It’s not as if I feel like I’m missing out or depriving myself, but rather that I just want to eat what I want, when I want. There’s a time and a place for indulging – and it’s not everyday. I look back on how many times I’ve quit and it frustrates me. Why can’t I just get it done in one fell swoop? Why do I constantly disappoint myself with these failure attempts? Here’s what I came up with:

So what.

So what if it takes me attempt after attempt after attempt? So what if I keep failing but brushing myself off and trying again? So what if it takes me another 5 years to lose just 40 lbs? This is my journey and it’s going to take me a long time to switch over to a healthy lifestyle. It will not happen over night, over the next few weeks, or even the next few months. I need to remember to take the baby steps and stop getting discouraged when I’m still living in the fat mentality three months from now. I need to celebrate the small victories and grow from the failures.

I know I would be tipping the scales at 200+ lbs if I hadn’t joined WW in 2007. It’s kept me at a steady, albeit overweight, weight. And I’ve learned so much in these 3 1/2 years of going to different WW meetings and learning from different leaders.

But I’m back. I went last night to my first meeting since the beginning of December. I was prepared to gain and prepared to gain a lot. And I did. But I’m ready to get back on the horse, take this one day at a time, and finally change my life. I’m ready to work hard and really delve deeply into what my body needs for fuel and what foods are just junk in my body.

Starting/Current Weight: 159.2 lbs
BMI: 29.1 (.9 away from obese! Holy crap.)
Net difference: +8 from my last weigh-in
Goal Weight: 120 lbs

Goal For This Week
I’ll only be giving myself one goal to achieve this week, building on the previous week’s goal (if I achieve it). For this week, my only real goal is to follow the plan and stick with my points. I want to get back on track and start feeling more in control of my body and eating habits again.

How was your eating like during the holidays? Did you overindulge, or keep it on track? How did you feel about it?


  1. I overindulged over the holidays, for sure. I always do and I never really let myself feel guilty for it because I know that's not how I'm doing things everyday.

    I was watching a weight loss show just the other day and the girl on it was getting frustrated because she was losing weight as quickly as she wanted to. The trainer guy said something like: "No amount of weight loss is bad. Celebrate every pound that comes off and realize how hard you worked for that." I sort of liked that idea!

  2. You're so brave for sharing this with us and taking us on your journey! I bet having a whole bunch of cheerleaders will help you stay on track :) *shakes pom poms*

  3. I have to agree with Kyla, I think it is an incredibly brave thing to share with us and I have so much respect for you for doing that. I LOVE your title for this post - it's that sort of thinking that will ensure you get to where you want to be. I think we're alike in so many ways - a big fear is fifty years from now, looking back and saying I wished I did things differently, kept trying, took that risk etc. I don't ever want to be able to say "I didn't try" either. I know you're going to get there!!

  4. You are so brave to share this - but I think the accountability will be really good for you. I wish you the best of luck - I know you can do it. I did WW in 2009 and had great luck with it. I did it with a friend, so that helped as she was my accountability partner. We shared recipes, hugged each other on weeks where one had gained, and celebrated each other's successes. I really had to learn to take it a week at a time and to not put too much of a time goal on the weight loss. I also had to adjust my expectations for my goal weight. I thought I would get to 135. I'm not there now, and I don't know that I ever will be, and I am ok with that. :)

    I did well over the holidays but I was not around food much because I didn't travel home for the holidays. And being gluten free means I can't have most of the holiday treats. Add in a break up and a sinus infection, and, well, it was a weird holiday for me.... So I actually lost weight over the holidays... First time that has probably ever happened for me!

  5. I'm needing to get back on track with exercise and eating better - I think I ate more fast food in the US when I was home for 3 weeks than I did all of last year! whoa.

  6. I have the same attitude - so what. It's my life and I would rather be happy than stress over food.

    With that being said, there have been times in my life where healthy eating came so naturally and I was so happy... and the unhealthy eating tends to happen when I am unhappy. So they are related.

    I started overeating probably in the end of October and it lasted until the end of January. And I didn't care. ;) But realized it was making me feel worse, so now I am back on track. For now!

  7. Ugh, I definitely overindulged and now I'm in trouble. I have till August to lose some weight because I'm going to do a boudoir shoot. I definitely need to get my eating on track!

  8. Wow, thank you so much for sharing! It's great to be honest about our struggles, especially with weight and eating which always seem to touch on much bigger issues.

    I will say this is the first holiday season that I didn't gain that much weight; I put on about 2 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's. I attribute that to having changed the way I approach eating. I don't eat mindlessly much anymore. I don't eat when I'm not hungry. And I stop before I'm painfully full. Sounds simple, but I didn't realize until this year how I ignore so many of my body's cues that I've had enough.

  9. I love the title of this post! I'm back on Weight Watchers too for the millionth time. Good luck and we're all here for you no matter what!

  10. Its a life long journey. I'm glad that you're not giving up and that you realize that its ok, however long it takes. And just know that we're here for you!!

  11. I really like this outlook of continuing to try no matter what. It's something I struggle with - once I mess up, I feel like there's no point in trying again - but I'm always working on it. Take it one day at a time and I'm so sure you'll see progress being made soon.

    My holiday season was a mess in that I developed some really terrible eating habits, so now that everything's over I'm focusing on getting back to a normal (and healthier!) schedule.

  12. I totally agree with you on this post. I'm really happy you've decided to take this one step at a time, no matter how long it takes. As long as you're slowly turning yourself into a healthy person that's all that matters. People who go on crazy diets to lose 20 pounds in two weeks are insane. Atleast you're being healthy and you're doing it happily. You can do it!!

  13. You can do it girlie! I have faith in ya.

  14. Tell you what: I'll keep reading your blog if you keep trying. Deal?

  15. Your weekly goal sounds like a good idea to me! :)

  16. Tell you what: I'll keep reading your blog if you keep trying. Deal?


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