Monday, August 22, 2011

A Birthday


Today, my blog turns two.

I didn’t celebrate my blog anniversary last year. It passed by without me even realizing it. But I’ve been thinking a lot about my blog lately, the direction it’s headed and whether or not I’m happy with the content I’m publishing.

I’m very critical of myself. I can be even more critical of my writing. I’m also Queen of the Comparing Game so I find myself comparing myself to other bloggers on a regular basis. I think I’ve matured from the “how come they have so many followers?” questions and I’m more concerned with comparing my content to what other bloggers are producing. I never want to be a blogger who posts just to post but I know I have had the tendency to do that on occasion. I rather envy those who don’t write with any specific schedule in mind, just whenever they feel the urge to write.

Sometimes, I want to get back to my days of early blogging where I blogged whenever I wanted to. I didn’t adhere to a strict five-days-a-week schedule, or have this need to get a post up every weekday morning. All of my posts had some kind of meaning attached to them, even though nobody was reading.

That said, I started this blog to find my blogging voice and establish community. I never imagined making the friendships I have made through this space and they are so true and real. It’s hard to talk about these friendships to non-bloggers because they just don’t understand. They don’t understand how I can write a blog post, thinking I’m the only one who feels the way I do, and receive responses from friends who tell me they get me. They understand. They are on the same page. These friendships may not have been made in person, but that doesn’t make them any less real. Some of you have been more excited and supportive about my new job than my own family members.

But here we are. Two years after writing my first post for this blog. I’m in a much better place now than I was then. I’m happier, more secure in myself. I know exactly the path I want my life to take, but also know God’s plans have the tendency to be completely different. I know what I want out of life, and know I have to do Big Things to make it happen.

This next year will be a whirlwind. My life is changing, for the better. I am changing. And I have big plans for this blog. Plans to take it in a different direction, put the focus back on the reason I started this blog: to write.

I love this place I’ve created for myself and for the people who read this blog. I love that people see me as raw and honest. I love the friendships that I’ve made and the hard truths I’ve discovered about myself - and written about. I have as much - probably more - passion for blogging as I did when I started. It’s been an amazing two years, and I can’t wait to see what happens in another year with Stephany Writes. I’m sure it will be amazing.

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