Thursday, August 18, 2011

Letters To My Future Husband: Where My Head Is At


Dear husband,

I’ve felt a pressing need to write to you. I don’t know why, but there has been a heaviness in my heart lately when I think about you.

The thing is, we’ve got an amazing love story in the works. God has the pen. He’s writing it as I write this letter. He’s formulating the dates, carving our lives so they fit perfectly into one another’s. He knows exactly who you are. He knows exactly when I will say “I do”. And He’s more concerned about making me into the woman I need to be for you right now.

And that’s ok. But I’m getting impatient, as always. Darling, I want you meet you so badly! I want to learn the planes of your face, the special catch in your voice as you laugh, the little expressions you make when you’re concentrating hard on something.

I’ve found out recently how hard it can be being a single Christian. People keep telling me I need to put myself out there more, date around, see what I like. It sounds great in theory, doesn’t it? That’s what we’re supposed to do, right? It may be something you’re doing right now.

I struggle a lot with knowing what it means to let God write my love story. I know I won’t wake up one day, knowing, “Today I am going to meet my future husband.” I know there needs to be some movement forward on my part. But how much movement? When does my movement inhibit the work of God? Is online dating the path God wants me on, or does He have something bigger in mind and I’m just too stubborn to heed the calling?

Maybe getting more plugged in and connected with my church will help. It can’t hurt. I know I want to marry a strong Christian man and I won’t settle for anything less. I’ve seen what happens when people settle and that’s not the life I want for myself. Strong Christian men are found in churches, not in bars. Not that strong Christian men don’t go to bars, but there’s a point I’m trying to make here.

I need to get my life centered around Christ. I need Him to be the focal point. I need to fall in love with Him, to hear Him whisper sweet nothings in my ear, to know exactly what it means to be living a Christ-centered life. I think that’s the key to letting Him show me to you. I need to remember that He wants me to be His first, and only then will He give me to you.

I hope you know what it means to live a Christ-centered life. I’m still struggling. But I’ll get there. And if you’re struggling to, I hope you know I’m praying for you, thinking about you, and imagining our life together every day. And I hope you know how much I already love you, foibles and all.


Your wife

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