2011 Resolutions: A Look Back

Completed Resolutions

> Graduate from college: Three cheers for a super big, life-list-if-I-made-list-lists goal achieved! The beginning part of my 2011 was crazy, filled with anxiety and worry I wouldn’t graduate on time or somehow my professors would begin to think I hadn’t learned enough to graduate. Luckily, I slipped through the cracks and got my degree!

> Begin working a full-time job, utilizing my degree: I would say this was the biggest goal on my list and I thank God every day that I found a job less than three months after graduating. And that it’s an amazing job with plenty of room for growth and professional development.

> Read 60 books: Check! Last night, I finished my 70th book. Finishing 71 total is a possibility but I exceeded my expectations with this goal.

> Travel: While I didn’t travel all over the world (or even step foot on a plane...), I’m still marking this goal as complete as I left the country for the first time ever. My cruise was the brightest part of my year and I look back on it with such fondness. I also made it up to Orlando a few times this year.

> Join a book club: I’m going to mark this as complete because of #twookclub and #SummerofHarry! Reading through the entire Harry Potter series with fellow bloggers and chatting about it every Thursday night was so much fun and I decided to bring it back in the form of a Twitter book chat. The group is bigger than I ever dreamed and I’ve met so many great people from it. We’ve only had one chat so far but it was amazing and I cannot wait to see what 2012 brings for our book club!

> Pay off all my credit cards: I’m marking this resolution as complete, even though it isn’t 100% complete. I’m still much closer to this goal of being credit card debt-free than I was a year ago. Of the three credit cards I have, one of them will be paid off (and then removed from my account) in January. The other two were paid off... until Christmas.

Resolutions Not Completed

> Run a half-marathon: I’m not sure if a half-marathon will ever be a possibility for me (I have weak ankles...) so while I tried training to run the Irongirl Half-Marathon, it just didn’t happen. (I ran the 5K instead.)

> Complete Project 365: I tried this twice in 2011, both horrific failures. I started this project over on my birthday and doing much better at capturing special everyday moments so I’m hoping I can keep it up this time!

> Get to my goal weight of 115-120 pounds: Not. Even. A. Little. Bit. Close.

> Begin therapy: This wasn’t a possibility due to not having health insurance for 11 months out of the year. But it is a huge goal of mine for 2012!

***

Six completed goals out of ten. Not too shabby, I must say. I think the three biggest goals I wanted to complete were to graduate, get a job, and get to my goal weight. So the fact that I completed two out of those three? That’s pretty amazing.

My 2012 goals will be posted next week, in a slightly different format. I have more goals but since school and a menial job isn’t overtaking my life anymore, I think I can handle more things to shoot for. I really, really love setting goals and setting things in motion to achieve them. I don’t see anything bad in wanting change, although I do want to learn to take appreciation in the here and now. The “When...then” syndrome is something I struggle with (When I’m skinny, then I will be happy...) so I want to take time to slow down and appreciate what is happening in my life in the present, not what I hope will be happening in my life if I achieve a goal.

Do you set New Year’s Resolutions? What are your thoughts on the “When...then” syndrome?

2011: A Year in Review

January

• My mom ran her first marathon. It took her a little over 7 hours but her training hit a major speed bump when she was hit by a car and had to take a few months of all exercise. I was also freezing and hungry and oh-so-tired (pulled an all-nighter the night before due to having to get to the marathon site by 3:30am!)
• I began my last semester as an undergrad (and being able to take two English classes made me regret, just a little, not declaring an English major).
• I went to my first eye appointment in 18 months to learn my right eye has a pretty bad case of astigmatism, which means contacts are not the best option for me for everyday wear.

February

• I watched the Packers win the Superbowl! I was so, so happy for them.
• I trained for a half-marathon (that I didn’t end up running. Surprise, surprise.)
• My mom and I booked a cruise as my graduation present in May - our first!
• I developed shingles which was terrifying. I honestly thought I was dying for a good three days. So. Much. Pain. I don’t wish this on anyone.
• I was up to my eyeballs in homework and papers.

March

• I made the difficult decision to drop out of the half-marathon I was half-heartedly training for
• Had a graduation photoshoot with a lovely school friend
• Bought my own domain name
• Read my fiction aloud in public for the very first time

April

• Set a 5K PR at Irongirl
• Went on my first job interview
• Crossed everything off my “To Graduate” list
• Began to have Friday night Bible studies with my grandparents

May

• Graduated from college with my Bachelor’s degree in Communications
• Went on a life-changing, soul-affirming Carnival cruise to Grand Cayman and Cozumel
• Applied, applied, applied for jobs

June

• Suffered from vacation hangover
• Joined a gym
• Went on two interviews that led to nothing
• Applied, applied, applied for jobs

July

• Went on a mini-vacation to Orlando for my mom’s birthday
• Was offered a job in the very field I wanted to get into: marketing. (And took it, obvs.)
• Went on my first date in... years

August

• I started my new job
• I began a six-week intense boot camp class at my gym
• My blog turned two

September

• Performance anxiety was at an all-time high
• My brother turned twenty-five and my nephew turned three
• I took a social media/blogging break for a week

October

• My life was forever changed when I ordered my first iPhone
• My work ended one of their giveaways and I was able to be there for the drawing and the conference call when my bosses called the winner. It was incredible.

November

• I attempted NaNoWriMo, though I quit after 10 days
• Ran two 5K’s. Both were extremely hard but I finished both!
• I met Amber!
• My mom and I hosted Thanksgiving for the first time ever
• We had our first #twookclub chat about The Scent of Rain and Lightning
• I turned twenty-four

December

• Attended my first jury summons -- and was let go by 11am!
• Celebrated Christmas in a small way, just my mom, brother, SIL, and nephew but it was absolutely perfect
• Went on a horrible, blog-worthy first date

Looking back, 2011 was a year with ups and downs - months where a lot happened and quiet months of peace. I have changed so much over the past twelve months that I barely remember who that girl was who began 2011. There are parts of her that still exist in my life today, most especially as it relates to my health and anxiety. But honestly? This was a good year for me. I became a college graduate. I went on an amazing cruise. I started my first post-college job. And I began to test the waters of dating. Not the mention, I’ve developed quite a few close relationships with other bloggers.

I’m so excited to see where 2012 will take me. But I know I will need to put in a lot of work to be at the place I want to be this time next year. It’s going to be a bumpy road but I think I’m up for the challenge.

The Top 10 Books I Read in 2011

At the beginning of the year, I made a goal to read 60 books this year. (At first, I set the bar at 100 books but didn’t want to rush myself through the books I was reading so I knocked it down.) I have never kept track of how many books I read in a year so it was a measuring tool for me. Turns out, I really like to read. As of right now, I’m at 69 books read and am close to finishing my 70th.

I’m pretty darn impressed with myself.

Sure, not all of them were of high literary quality and the majority of the books I read this year were romance novels, but it’s what I like to read.

I’m still not sure I want to set another book goal this year, because I don’t want to rush myself through books. I want to set some book challenges, though, which is something I’ve been thinking about for a while. One challenge I’m setting for myself is to read one non-fiction book a month. That may be enough for me, or I may want to challenge myself to something else. We shall see.

But by the end of 2011, I will have read 70 books this year. Some of them stand out to me as fantastic reads I wholly recommend. And here is the list:

10. Just Between You and Me by Jenny B. Jones (4 of 5 stars)
A faith-based book about a girl who is still dealing with the drowning death of her mother when she was a teenager and trying to let go of her fears of love and loss. There’s a romance intertwined with the story and I seriously could not put this book down. When I was at work, I was thinking about it. When I was driving home, I was pondering what would happen next. And when I finished it, I found myself melancholy that it was over and these characters were not a daily part of my life anymore. That, for me, is the stamp of a great book.

9. Miss Fortune by Sara Mills (5 of 5 stars)
Another faith-based book, this time set in the 1940’s and a mystery. This tells the story about a woman private detective, still searching for her MIA fiance. She still loves him and knows in her heart he is alive. She teams up with FBI detective Jack who agrees to help her search for her fiance, in exchange for her help on a case. Full of action and adventure and a crazy ending that had me begging for more. (I did end up reading the second book which had another crazy ending, but haven’t heard any mention of a third. The second book was released in 2009, so I find it strange there hasn’t been the third yet when the ending clearly showed there would be one.)

8. Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen (5 of 5 stars)
I reviewed this one on my blog but this book was my introduction to the world of Sarah Dessen and I am hooked. She’s an amazing storyteller and this book had me gripped from the beginning. It’s a story about friendship, but also a story about finding your own way apart from the way people perceive you. Full review here.

7. American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld (3 of 5 stars)
While I had some issues with this book, overall it was one of my best reads of 2011. Alice Lindgren was an utterly captivating character, someone I could closely identify with. (Well, until she became the First Lady!) I wrote an entire review of the book here.

6. Listen by Rene Gutteride (5 of 5 stars)
A thriller about a small town that gets hit with a website called Listen To Yourself, which puts private conversations between neighbors and families on a website for all to see. It brought up topics of censorship and whether you need to censor yourself in your own home, as well as the idea of how powerful words can be. Thoroughly enjoyed this novel and the twists and turns it took. And I honestly did not see the ending coming!

5. Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner (5 of 5 stars)
I followed Jennifer Weiner on Twitter before I ever read a book by her. But I loved this one a lot and I really just love Weiner’s writing style. The main character was so likeable and I was rooting for her through the entire book. You can read my review of this book here.

4. The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
OK, cheating with this one but since every single one of these books would be on the list, it wouldn’t leave room for other books. I read this with a bunch of other bloggers for Summer of Harry which was an awesome experience. I had read the first two books when I was in middle school but it was Erin’s insistence that made me try them again. I am so glad I did. These books were amazing. The writing was fantastic and I couldn’t put these books down for anything. I’m pretty sure I’ll be making my way through these books again and again, but I’m still not over Fred’s death. It’s going to be a while.

3. Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen (4 of 5 stars)
This was the first book I read in 2011 and I loved it. It’s one of those books people either love or hate, because I’ve seen both sides. I enjoyed the story so much and it gripped me from beginning to end. Another one I reviewed on this blog. Find it here.

2. The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen (5 of 5 stars)
I could have sworn I had written a book review about this book but I did not, which is surprising as it was one of my favorite books this year. This is a YA-lit book about a girl named Macy who is still dealing with the unexpected death of her father. She has a boring job at the library and this summer, her boyfriend is going away. She ends up joining up with Wish Catering after meeting the group during an open house her mother had and found family and community. The love story between Macy and Wes was perfect and poignant and I loved every second of this book. It’s definitely one worth a read, and one I will be rereading again and again.

1. The Help by Katherin Stockett (5 of 5 stars)
I tried to write a review for this book after I had finished reading it but just couldn’t. It was one of those books that was so good and impacted me so much that I felt a review could not do it the justice it deserved. I actually watched the movie before reading the book and the movie was so darn fantastic that it made me itch to read the book. The book was even better. While I do think the movie is fantastic and stayed very true to the book itself, nothing compares to the written word in my opinion. I finished this book in late September and I still find myself missing the characters. Skeeter, Abilene, and Minnie are forever a part of my world and this is far and away one of the best books I have ever read. 

What were some of your favorite reads this year?

2012: One Word

Last year in December, I participated, off and on, with some Reverb ‘10 prompts. My favorite prompt was the first one which had me think of a word to describe 2010 and think of another one to describe what I wanted my 2011 to resemble.

For 2011, I chose the word risk. I wanted to step outside my comfort zone and into waters I don’t normally venture to. I’m not sure risk is the right word to describe this year. While I took some risks for sure, I think a better word to describe this year is change. My life has changed drastically over the past twelve months. I can’t even remember what 2010 Stephany was like.

2011 was about growing up and maturing. Graduating from college, securing my first post-college job, growing into my skin a little more. I started to realize that I’m ultimately responsible for my own happiness, but also that it’s OK to be sad and let your emotions get the better of you. I learned that it’s OK to be human.

I began to take notice of my anxiety issues and realize that these things I feel are not normal behavior. I’ve spent the past couple of years telling myself this is just a part of who I am. I’m just a worrywart. I would have to deal with that. But I’m beginning to see and understand that I don’t have to live in this constant cycle of fear. Living without it, or even learning better coping skills when the anxiety attacks hit, is a possibility.

I missed my dad a lot this year. The anger is leaving and in it’s place is a broken heart. I’m sad that he’s missing out on a wonderful relationship we could have had. While the hurt and emotional beatings he gave to me are still in my heart, I can’t help but reminisce on the good times we had. Because when he was in a good mood, it was real good. He was funny and charming and sweet and everything a girl would want out of her father. I miss that. He shattered my heart when he walked out of my life willingly and I think he’s the only one who can pick up the pieces and put it back together.

I began to appreciate myself more this year. I took notice of my strengths and began to realize what I imagined were weaknesses were actually strengths that the world had told me were weaknesses. Being an introvert isn’t a weakness. It’s just who I am.

I also began to question a lot of things. Faith. Family. Career ambitions. How to achieve my best life possible. I discovered I’m not all that interested in leading a life that looks like everyone else’s. I only have one life to live and I want to live it well.

I stalled on my attempts to get to a healthy weight but exercised consistently and tried my hardest to eat well when I could. I started to make healthier decisions, even when they were hard. I may not have gotten to where I wanted to be, but I never gave up. And I won’t.

I’ve been thinking on my word for 2012 for a while now. I had to decide what I wanted out of this upcoming year. I had to visualize December 2012 Stephany: what did she look like? How did she feel? What are the immediate emotions that emanate from my body as I look in on her?

My word for 2012 is health.

Physical health - I want to work on my eating and exercise habits. While I exercise consistently, I know I need to ramp up the intensity and length of my workouts. I tend to play it safe with my workouts, especially lately. Most importantly, I want to learn to eat a more healthy diet. Consistently. I find myself doing well with my eating habits for a few weeks on, a few weeks off. No more.

Emotional health - For the longest time, I have felt this incessant need to be happy. Being sad or depressed or upset has no room in my life, I thought, and would do everything in my power to make sure others around me were happy. By doing this, I shove all my other emotions deep down inside and refuse to deal with them. In 2012, I want to let go of this incessant need. I want to let myself be sad or upset for however long I need to. I want it to be OK to cry. To be OK to feel sad. To be OK to want to throw things across the room.

Mental health - Most specifically, learning to control my anxiety and panic attacks that ensue. It has only been recently that I’ve been able to put a name to this constant cycle of worry I have in my life and while I haven’t gotten an official diagnosis yet, I do know the way I have been living is not normal worrywart behavior. In 2012, I am finally taking care of my mental health by attending therapy. This means I may need to switch some things around to afford it (at the very least, it will require a $50 copay) but I know I need to seek help and stop putting my mental health on hold.

Health. No, it’s not an exciting word like CHALLENGE or RISK. It’s a boring word. But it holds so much meaning and power in my life, because I have never put my health first. I’ve been more concerned with other aspects of my life that it falls to the backburner and shows in the way I have lived the past few years of my life. In 2012, health comes first. Physical, emotional, and mental.

What word would you choose to describe 2011? What word do you want to describe 2012?