50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 10

Would you believe it? This is the END of this post series! I started this in July 2010 and slowly worked my way through the questions. They were thought-provoking, deep, and insightful. I’m now on the hunt for more questions like these because they really made me stop and think. You can find the entire list here.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I would be more vocal about my faith. I find it very hard to be as active as I want to be because let’s face it: Christians don’t always lead the greatest example. I know more Christians that do than don’t but all the world cares about are those that are radical and a little nuts. It turns them off to anything involving faith or religion (which I can’t say I blame them for, some Christians even leave me with a bad taste in my mouth!), and makes me a little scared to fully share my faith in the way I want to for fear of the judgment I will inevitably receive. I’m trying to worry less and less about that, but I still care way too much about the opinions of others to fully dive headfirst in sharing about my walk with Jesus.

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

I could take this literally and say I noticed it this morning when I took my earbuds out at the end of my run. Hehe. VERY easy to notice my breathing then! But I think there’s a deeper meaning behind the question, as in, when was the last time I was still, silent, and focused on the here and now. I have a tendency to get more focused on what’s happening next that being present and alive in this moment is something I struggle with. I try to do this on my drive to work, to not be thinking of how many days until the weekend or what I’m having for lunch or anything but the present and being happy to be alive and focused on my life at that moment.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love the relationship I have with my mom. She’s always there for me, 100%, but she’s also become my very best friend.

I love my family. Every single one of them, including my 16-year-old twin cousins who are going through an extremely rough time right now and acting out because of it. No matter what, I still think those girls are amazing individuals and I wish I knew how to better show them that.

I love my dog. And my Instagram feed showcases that immensely.

I love football, food, and blogging. I love long emails to my blog BFF, funny Twitter convo’s, and cruising. I love reading, my Kindle, and the fact that I can now borrow books from the library on my Kindle. I love that I have a job to come to, even if some days are harder than others. I love Florida, sunshine, and immediate access to beaches and theme parks. I love a clean house, organizing, and Publix subs. I love crossing out my to-do list, eyeliner, and Post-It notes.

Most of all, I love the opportunities that await me as I get older, more mature, and more certain in myself and my abilities. I love that I’m learning to throw off the cape of self-doubt and uncertainty and plant myself out there for the world. I love myself.

49. In about 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

I’m pretty sure I will remember what I did yesterday. (I’m writing this on Monday afternoon. I will never forget the crushing defeat of the 49ers loss. My brother was devastated and my heart broke for him.)

But will I remember what I did this past week? No. I won’t. I may remember bits and snippets. A certain scent or song may bring me back to a time when I was a little marketing assistant at a small company, but generally, I won’t remember much. It puts a lot of things into perspective, doesn’t it?

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

If this question had been asked a year ago, I know I would have answered it differently. But I can say with absolute certainty that I am making decisions for myself. I am controlling my own destiny, taking the bull by the horns, and all other cliché phrases. There’s something exciting about getting older and understanding yourself more that leads to not ever wanting to go back to that stagnant way of living where life seems out of control and decisions out of your reach. I’m standing up for myself more, making my own decisions, and carving out my own life. I’m going to still make lots of mistakes and still have pitfalls to make my way through. But the fun thing about making your own decisions is the learning process because it’s through that process that you learn the most about yourself and what you crave from life.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9]

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 9

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

This is a tough question to even think about but not a tough one to answer. I would spend the day with my mom, my brother, and my nephew. Those three people mean the most to me in the entire world and I would want to spend it recreating memories and soaking in all the time left I had with them. (What a morbid question, though! Geesh!)

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

Absolutely not. I have no inclinations for fame and while I don't think I would mind being extremely attractive, I'm fairly happy with my mediocre looks now. Sure, I'm not a beauty and YES, I want to lose weight but I want to do it the hard way. I want to put time and effort, sweat and tears into becoming skinnier, because that's part of the process of healing from the inside out. And honestly? The face that stares back at me every day is mine. She is me. We are one. I wouldn't want a stranger looking back at me, because I'm pretty good friends with the girl I see now.

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

It's very simple: being alive is just about breathing and moving through each day. You go through the motions of everyday life, but never fully reach out and grasp all life can be. You don't even have to be depressed or sad, you could be content with your life. But you're not really living. You're not taking risks and challenging yourself and loving every moment you breathe.

Truly living? That's what we aspire to. It's when you finish each day, exhausted but happy because you didn't sit down and let life pass you by. You have taken life by the horns and are throwing yourself out into the Universe. Each day isn't sunshine and rainbows, but you finish each day knowing you did the best job you could to build the best life you can imagine. It's going to bed every night and not dreading what awaits you in the morning. It's waking up and being excited for the "to do" list, even if it's filled with mundane things. You have a pep in your step because you've realized what life is all about and you have captured those moments the rest of us are still wishing on.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

There is a deeply personal answer to each challenge we face, where we have to weigh the risks and rewards. Sometimes, we have to stop thinking so damn much and just start doing. I am a thinker and I weigh the pros and cons on just about every decision I make and it can be as simple as what I want to eat for lunch. When it feels right for you, that’s when you stop thinking. When you know you will be happier you went to that book club or went sky-diving or traveled alone for the first time in your life, you will know it in your heart. And you’ll stop believing in all those cons and risks.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

I am terrified of making mistakes. Terrified. Even though we learn from mistakes, I always feel that making them makes me inferior. As if there is something wrong with me because I tripped up. I’m slowly beginning to realize that making mistakes is part of the growth progress. We have to make mistakes, we have to fall down. It’s the only way we can grow, it’s the only way we can learn. But there’s something scary about making a mistake. I think that’s why I haven’t tried harder to get published, even small articles or short stories. I am terrified of not being good enough.

The truth is? I’m not experienced enough to be “good enough”. I will get rejected and I will have lots of areas in my writing to improve on. Learning the mistakes I’m making in my writing will only make me a better writer, but it’s scary to lay your heart and soul on the line - your passion - and find out just how many mistakes you’re making.

Are you afraid of making mistakes? Tell me, would you reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become attractive and/or famous? Why or why not?

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8]

*Questions found here

Ask Me Anything - Round 2

Why did your parents go with a Y at the end of your name? It's unique, & I like it better than the other spellings of the name.

As the story goes, my father wanted to name me Doogabock. I’m really not sure if that’s how you spell that name, but it’s his own creation. Luckily, my mom nixed that awful name and came up with the name Stephanie. Only she wanted me to have a different spelling and went with a “Y” at the end. I hated being “Stephany” for the longest time because it was so different, but I’ve grown to absolutely love it. I totally prefer it to other spellings of my name.

How long have you been blogging? What inspired you to start blogging?

I’ve been blogging since high school, although I’m not sure if you can call Xanga as a blog. Or at least how I did it. I’ve just always loved writing and writing about my life and struggles so I bounced around a lot of blogs in the years prior to this one. Since I have a tough time talking aloud about my feelings, blogging has been a way for me to release my feelings and talk through my problems.

If you could go on a vacation without worrying about paying for it, where would you go?

(OK, anyone who’s been following my blog for the past year, say it with me...) A CRUISE! Of course! I’d love to go on one of those long, European cruises, hitting up dozens of spots and having incredible adventures at each. I really, really enjoy cruising. I had so much fun on my first one and I have a feeling cruising will be a big part of my future. There is so much to do and see while cruising and you really cannot beat waking up after the waves lulled you to sleep, seeing deep blue water on all sides of you. It’s absolutely perfect.

And if I didn’t have to worry about paying for it? I’d bring along some of my closest blogger friends, because I have this dream of going on a cruise with a bunch of bloggers. How fun would that be?!

 

Have a question you’ve been dying to ask me? Use the form below to ask!

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 8

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I always forget about these questions until I see Melissa do a post on hers. I’ve been doing these since July of 2010 so that should give a good indication on how fast I’m progressing through these. Ha!

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

Isn’t this what sets us apart from other animals? Our moral compass? I think we know, inherently, what is good and what is evil. What will lead us on the right path and what will take us down the wrong one. I do believe there are a lot of grey areas within good and evil, of course. And we all have our different definitions of it. So I guess my answer is yes and no, which really isn’t an answer, is it?

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

Yes. I would probably start graduate school, though, because I know I would get so bored without something challenging me.

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

I’ve never thought of myself who can say they are not afraid of hard work. I wish, but I think my weight would be in the normal zone, I would have ran those half-marathons I signed up for, and have more published articles to my name, if so. That said, I’m finding I enjoy being busy. I thrive on it and am more productive this way. When I don’t have much to do, I end up taking longer to complete tasks and cross items off my to-do list. I would rather do more of the things I enjoy. More writing, more reading, etc. If I could fill my life up with work I enjoy, I would be a happy lady. (And I have no idea what’s stopping me from doing this, other than pure laziness.)

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

No, not at all! That’s what so enjoyable about my job. Every day is different. Every day is filled with different projects and tasks, different problems to overcome, different meetings and conversations. When I worked at the preschool, the days differed but they were the same week after week. Mondays were slow and an easy breakfast to pass out, Tuesdays were for hurrying through breakfast and clean-up and supervising karate, Wednesdays were for getting through breakfast even faster to supervise dance, Thursdays were another slow day but a big breakfast to make, and Fridays were always up in the air. Every single week. The same thing. Over and over again.

I am so glad I no longer work there. (Although I do miss some of the kidlets and my co-workers.)

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

I feel like I march in the dark with a lot of things I strongly believe in. Saving myself for marriage, waiting until I’m married to live with my husband, being pro-life, being a Christian. But I’m comfortable being alone. I’m an introvert, I thrive being alone. Hopefully I’ll grab a few friends along the way who believe in these ideas as well. And if not, that’s okay. I’ll keep on marching.

I want to know: would YOU quit your job if you won a million dollars? Why or why not?

You Ask, I’ll Answer

One of my favorite blog feature of any blog is the Q&A. I always find it interesting to read what other people are curious about and the answers given. I’m planning on making some of my Five For Friday posts into Q&A’s because I’m sure some people have lots of questions about me. (Plus, I totally failed at answering all the questions asked for Vlog Fridays that I feel like I owe you guys.)

I’m using Formspring this time around, so you can send me anonymous questions if that’s your desire or sign it with your name. I’m sincerely hoping I don’t get any nasty questions or comments by using this but we’ll see. Internet trolls aren’t known for their niceness.

I’ll start answering questions this Friday, provided I receive enough questions. Get cracking!

Oh, and if you haven’t heard? I TOTALLY GOT A JOB YESTERDAY! Read my exciting announcement here. More details to come!

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 7

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

No doubt in my mind: when I was on my cruise. How could you not feel alive while waking up surrounded by the ocean, the budding excitement of visiting different countries and doing incredible adventures in them, of having your fill of relaxation and busyness? It was such an amazing five days for me and all my mom and I can talk about is when we’re going again. Cruising will definitely be an annual thing for us.

32. If not now, then when?

If I ever got a tattoo, this would be the perfect one for me. I feel like I’m constantly asking myself this question. And I constantly have an answer for myself. At first, it was school. Now, it’s finding a job. And once I find a job? I know I’ll come up with something else: I’m trying to figure out my finances first. I need to focus on my career. Blah, blah, blah. I’m pretty much a Professional Excuse Maker and the time has come to say: Now. Now is the time. Now is the time when I will put my whole heart on the line to find love. Now is the time I will shed all my previous notions and lose the weight for good. Now is the time I will stop making excuse and start doing.

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

Failure. The thing about not achieving something is that you don’t have to risk failure. And failure is something that I fear the most. I took timid steps to showing my fiction to mediocre reviews, which I think is why I’ve put fiction on the backburner again. I’m so afraid at failing at something I’ve wanted for my entire life that it’s just easier to not even try.

It’s a terrible attitude to have, but I try to be as honest as I can be on this blog and there you have it. Yes, not even trying is sometimes worse than failing but but not trying, I don’t know the taste of failure. But I also don’t know the taste of achievement.

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

So, this is kind of a weird question but I think I understand it. These times happen infrequently and only with people I know well. Well well. People who I can talk about matters of the heart, but also know my sarcasm that a single barb doesn’t make them flinch. It happens with my best friend from work. It happens with my mom. It happens with my brother. It’s just about knowing them, backwards and forwards. Knowing when they need a minute to themselves, when they need a hug, when a joke will make them feel better. Knowing when to talk and when to be silent.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

I can’t answer this question. Honestly, aside from the basics, I know very little about the politics that went into all the different wars. This question does make me a little itchy, though. If anyone cares to enlighten me, feel free!

Parts 1-6

Help Wanted

I need your help.

Last summer, I began to notice how bad my skin was breaking out. I’ve never been one to have a smooth, clear complexion but I never suffered from acne as a teenager. But, oh boy, is my face getting me back for those smooth years. I break out a couple times a week and it’s not pretty. I’m very hesitant to try any type of specialized acne cream because I think my problem is simply from eating too many sweets and drinking too much sugary soda. And I think it’s also due to not properly washing my face at night.

Because of that, I decided to go make-up free around Thanksgiving. I wanted to see if going make-up free would help my complexion at all. Verdict? Just a smidge, but nothing earth-shattering. Since then, I’ve been pretty lax on wearing make-up. I never wear it during the week (my job is not conducive to a full face of make-up) and only on special occasions. Right now, I’m using the Cetaphil system for my face-washing routine. I use the cleaner in the morning and at night, the heavier lotion for nighttime, and the lighter one for the morning time. What I’ve gained the most from this is a smoother-feeling face. I can’t say it does a great job at helping with shine control, but it does make my skin feel awesome and has helped to clear up my acne a little. And I think a cleaner diet would clear the rest up.

But I don’t want your help for my skin issues. I want your help regarding make-up. Currently, I barely wear anything because I don’t like how I feel when I wear it. It makes my skin feel heavy and oily, and I constantly have to reapply to keep the shine at bay. And I’m also concerned that I look like I’m wearing a separate head on my body, with the way I can never find a shade that suits my skin tone! It’s always either too light or too dark.

So I’m coming to you, blog world. I need your recommendations for great make-up: mainly foundation and skin coverage, but if you want to tell me your favorite mascara or eye shadow or lipstick, go right ahead!

Here’s what I’m mainly looking for:

• Something that covers well. As stated before, my skin doesn’t look perfect and I want something that can cover up the majority of it and still look natural.
• Something that works well with the shine ball I am. My skin thrives on being oily. I want something that helps to control it.
• Something that lasts. I have never met a foundation that lasts longer than a few hours. I hate reapplying every 2 hours.
• Something that’s light. I hate the feeling of make-up on my skin because it makes my face feel like it’s suffocating. I mean, it’s 2011. We have to have make-up that feels like air, right?

What say you, blog world?

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 6

Read Parts 1-5 here

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26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

I would most definitely rather lose my old memories. In fact, it would sort of be a blessing in disguise to not remember my past and the things from my past that are holding me back! I know there is a lot of talk how mistakes of the past shape us into who we are today, but they seem to keep me from really experiencing life and living it to the fullest when I remember the ways my dad emotionally abused me, and the bullying I dealt with in middle school.

27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

In a way, no. I think this is why my faith has been such a struggle. I’m not content to just say I believe it, and leave it at that. I need more. I need answers to my many questions. I envy people who just trust God without any qualms, but that’s not my way. I am constantly challenging what I believe and holding it up to what the world believes. Obviously, they are radically different. But I think challenging the truth is so useful and Christians need to do it more. I want to know my faith inside and out, and be able to answer any question a non-Christian throws my way.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?

No, not yet. It terrifies me that one day I will live in a world without my mom or my grandma or my brother, or any other family member. I feel so blessed to not know the pain of what that is like yet. I know I won’t continue with this innocence of death, but I’m going to enjoy every minute of my family while I have them.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

Five years ago, I was 18, in my senior year of high school. What probably upset me the most was college decisions and the stress of my final semester as a high school student. Looking back, it doesn’t matter. I am exactly where I need to be at this moment. But we’re not very rational when we’re deep in the moment, are we?

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

One childhood memory that stands out especially is this silly moment in the car after we had all had a fabulous dinner at a steak house. My brother and I were maybe 7 and 8 and my parents were playing papers-scissors-rock to determine who got to use the bathroom first. I remember their laughter, which didn’t happen often. I remember my full belly and this deep peace that everything was OK right then. A lot of my childhood was uncertain and chaotic so these moments were rare but amazing to me.

I’d love to know your answer to #27 – Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? What do you think?

Holiday Week: Christmas Questions

Since Ten on Tuesday this week is a bunch of random questions, I scoured the interwebs for Christmas questions to keep with my Holiday Week theme.
1. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? How about the worst?
The best is a toss-up between my computer when I was 13 or my iPod Touch last year. Both were surprises and I was thrilled when I opened up the gifts. And both I used a lot.
The worst gift would have to be this paint program my aunt got for me when I was in 8th grade. It was Disney and more on a first-grader level. It’s presents like those that help you realize your extended family knows nothing about you.
2. What is your favorite Christmas movie moment?
I love Elf and towards the end of the movie when Jovie gets in front of the big crowd and starts singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and everyone joins in, including Buddy’s family. It makes me cry every time!
3. When do you open gifts?
Christmas Day! I am so not a Christmas Eve present opener. I love the anticipation that comes with Christmas Eve and wouldn’t change that for the world.
4. Do you believe in Santa? If not, who convinced you he’s not real?
I don’t. I was made fun of in second grade for still believing in Santa Claus and told my mom I didn’t believe in him around that time. But I still received presents from him for a few years after that. I do love how fun it is to believe in him. It’s been fun to talk about Santa with the older kids in my center, because their belief in him is so pure and so strong!
5. What is your happiest Christmas memory?
Those Christmas Eve nights I spent with my brother. It started when I was in 6th grade and we made plans to play games while we waited for 6am to open presents. We kept true to this tradition until he moved out in 2006. We only managed to stay awake the whole night one year when we spent Christmas Eve at my uncle’s house and watched a whole slew of movies.
6. Describe an ornament that has special significance to you.
There’s not really an ornament that I would say has special significance to me. There are plenty of ornaments that I made when I was younger and a few of me at a younger age. And then we have a ton of snowmen ornaments that make me smile.
7. What famous person would you most like to encounter under the mistletoe?
I’m just going to be honest: nobody. There is no way I would do anything but freak out and probably pass out if I encountered a famous person under the mistletoe. While it would be pretty awesome to meet Jake Gyllenhaal under the mistletoe, I would be too shy to ever do anything. So, Jake, if we ever do meet, you’re going to have to make the first move, ‘kay?
8. When it comes to decorations, are you more of a Griswald or a Grinch?
I guess a Griswald but on a lesser scale. Our decorations are nice and festive, but it’s not overdone in any grand scale. Just decorating our living room and patio. They’re nice, though. I like ‘em!
9. What is your favorite version of a Christmas song?
I’ll admit that I’m not a big fan of Mariah Carey or Christina Aguilera’s Christmas renditions. They go so big and oversing almost every Christmas song. It’s a little annoying!
I’m not sure what my favorite version of a song is, though. I mostly love any rendition of ‘O Holy Night’, though. It’s such a pretty song!
10. Have you had any traumatic Christmas-related experiences?
No, thank God. I am so nervous this week that something awful is going to happen to my family and Christmas will forever be ruined.
A few Christmases ago, I had a terrible anxiety attack on the night before Christmas Eve that my mom was going to get into a car wreck on her way to work and die. Luckily, she was fine. And she called me just before she was leaving to let me know she was coming home. About 3 minutes after her call, the police knocked on the door, inquiring about my neighbor.
Oh, my gosh, you guys. If she hadn’t called before then, I would have probably thrown up on their shoes.
11. What would be an appropriate gag gift for most of your friends?
Probably Justin Bieber’s new “book”. (Did he really write a book?) I would love to give it to my work BFF just to see her face. Tehehe.
12. Would you rather be a partridge in a pear tree or a lords a-leaping and why?
Confession: I just Googled “partridge” and “lords a-leaping”. Apparently, this is the difference between a bird or a leaping dancer. I guess I’ll choose lords a-leaping because I’ve always wanted to be a dancer. A leaping dancer is just a bonus.
Don’t forget to enter my holiday giveaway – ends Sunday, December 26.

A Call For Questions

In August, I participated in VEDA (Vlog Everyday in August). There were a whole bunch of bloggers involved and it was definitely a neat experience. I wasn't consistent with it and fell off the radar when my school semester began, but I still enjoyed it.

I've been wanting to vlog again, but have been racking my brain for how to incorporate it in my blog. And then I had a lightbulb moment: Q & A's! Other bloggers have answered readers questions through their own vlogs, so I thought it would be perfect. (You agree, right? Right.)

So go ahead! Ask! Ask me multiple questions, ask me silly questions, deep questions, off-the-wall questions. Questions about my past, my life, my future. Questions about faith. Questions about writing. Questions about pop culture. Questions about school. Anything goes! (Just keep it clean. My family reads my blog.)

I can't wait to read your questions!

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 5

Check out Parts 1-4 here.

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21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

We used to have a little girl at my preschool who was this absolute free spirit. She had a million pieces of clothing with The Little Mermaid and she would wear at least one piece every day. She never matched. She was a friend to everyone and never had a bad word to say to anyone. She marched to the beat of her own drum. And other teachers at my center thought she was a little loopy and weird. I think she was just plain awesome. (I keep talking about her in past tense, but she's fine. She's just in kindergarten now!)

To answer your question, a joyful simpleton. Maybe this girl wasn't the smartest child we had but she has the most amazing spirit about her. Absolute light and joy and happiness. If we could all be more like her, this world would be a better place.

22. Why are you, you?

Nature and nurture. Part of it is my past experiences, part of it is what my parents have taught me, some of it is my own morals and values that I've learned on my own. It makes me unique and unlike anybody else I'll ever encounter. And I'm trying to accept that.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

Yes and no. There are times when I think I can be a great friend, someone who is thoughtful and compassionate. And sometimes, not so much. I try my best, though, and I think I'm pretty fun to be around.

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

Both have the potential for heartbreak. On the one hand, it's heartbreaking when a good friend moves away because your relationship is forever altered. You don't keep that same level of closeness, as much as you try. But on the other hand, when you lose touch with a good friend but it's just circumstances or misunderstandings, that can be just as heartbreaking. With this, you have the potential to keep your friendship but you just can't.

I would think the latter option is worse, because you're losing a friendship that you shouldn't be losing. With the former, you can still maintain the friendship, but it might not be as close as before.

25. What are you most grateful for?

My family. I wouldn't be anywhere without them. I wouldn't be myself without them. I need them. They have taught me so much about life, love, and faith. I can't wait to begin building a family of my own, but for now, they are the ones I depend on and need.

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 4

Before I began Part 4 of this series, I want to talk about an exciting opportunity that has come my way involving CSN Stores! I've been given the chance to review a product for them, but can't tell you much more yet - so keep your eyes peeled! In case you're wondering what CSN Stores is, they are a online retailer with over 200 stores. (That's one giant shopping mall, if I do say so myself!) Redoing your bedroom? They have everything from nightstands to shoe racks! I would definitely take a peek over there, but beware: it's a little addicting!

Onto the questions! Check out previous installments here.

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16. How come the things that make you happy don't make everyone happy?

Simple - because we are all different. What makes me happy doesn't make everyone happy. Spending an entire Sunday watching football makes me happy - for others, this is torture. Reading, writing, and playing board games make me happy but for you it might be golfing, fishing, and going to bars. We all have our own likes and dislikes and the trick is surrounding ourselves with people who have some of the same hobbies as us, but also make us broaden our horizons and find new hobbies through them.

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What's holding you back?

I really want to be able to run a 5K in under 30 minutes. I think this is one of my biggest goals right now, especially since it means I would cut 15 minutes off my time. And that would be an incredible feat. I would feel amazing! What's holding me back? Not having proper running shoes (remedying that this weekend!), not being consistent at exercise, and not believing in myself. When I tell myself it's too hard, I'm losing the mental game - and we all know running is 90% a mental game. The day I cross the finish line and the clock hasn't hit 30 minutes will be the best day of my life.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

I'm holding onto a lot of things I need to let go of. Insecurity, weight, past experiences, doubt. I want to be able to let go of the past and start trusting in myself. I let things my dad has said and done to me affect me and really, pave my path. I believe in the lies he said about me and it causes me to doubt that anyone could ever like me or that I'm meaningful. While I know he's wrong, it's hard to let go of it when you hear lies again and again during your formative years by the one man you should be able to trust.

If I could afford it, I would see a therapist because there are issues that I haven't dealt with, mainly because I don't want to and because they are ingrained so deeply in my core that it's going to take some work to get them out. I'm beginning to realize what I'm doing to myself, but it's definitely a work in progress.

(And wow, didn't mean to make this so deep and personal. But there it is.)

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

Gosh, I have no idea. I know I wouldn't like a fast-paced city life like NYC or Chicago. I'm not afraid to say that I like the suburbs and I like the calmness of small-town life! I absolutely adore the city I live in and would gladly live here forever. But if I had to choose somewhere else, I would probably choose Georgia. Mainly, because I could raise my kids there and they would have the cutest Southern accents.

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

I only press it once. Although I'll usually press it multiple times if the light isn't lit. But no, it doesn't make the elevator go faster, just makes you look impatient.

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 3

Check out Part 1 and Part 2.

11. You're having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

Most likely, I would get very quiet and not say anything. I am the quintessential non-confrontational person and I just know I would let these people badmouth my friend without saying anything. I probably wouldn't enter into the conversation and I think they would know, unless they're totally clueless, that I don't feel the same way but I wouldn't voice my opinion. I really wish I had it in me to be more confrontational and really say what I feel, but it just isn't a part of my personality.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

I find this to be an odd question because said newborn wouldn't have a clue what I was saying, nor any memory of it. But let's say I write this down for the child to read when they're older. My best piece of advice is to always follow your heart. Yes, it's cheesy and quite a cliche, but I also see so many people in jobs they don't like or relationships that hurt them because they think that's where their supposed to be, or with whom they're supposed to be with. Trust in what your heart is telling you and I think you can live a happier life.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Tough question. It really depends on the situation. Like, I would never rob a bank or kill someone to save them. (Unless, of course, it's in self-defense.) There are situations where I might be persuaded into helping someone if their life depended on it. But the fact remains that the thought of jail fills me with the heebie-jeebies so, probably not.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

Probably so. I can't think of any instances at the moment, but I believe so.

15. What's something you know you do differently than most people?

Eat, especially when I'm eating with a TV show or football game on. And most definitely when it comes to popcorn at the movie theater. I won't eat during commercials and won't even touch the popcorn until the movie is in full swing, not even during the first few minutes when the credits are running. I buy my movie popcorn for the movie, not for the previews. My brother is the exact same way, but probably more anal about it.

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 2

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Writing for pleasure, such as writing for this blog, feature pieces for magazines, and fiction. Writing is my number one passion and I couldn't last a day without it. Writing for this blog fills me with such joy and happiness, and being a part of this amazing community does the same.

I think I would also like to take trips around the United States and world to visit blog friends, because some of you are closer to me than my own real life friends.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Hands down, I'm settling. I'm working at a job that's not really going to do much to further my career, other than helping me deal with stressful situations and instill work ethic. And I don't feel as if I put enough effort into school that I need to be. Every semester, I arm myself with notebooks and planners and the determination to make this one the Best One Yet and I never do. I become lazy around the fourth week and start settling for what is comfortable and familiar.

And while I don't know if I'm doing what I believe in at my internship, I am doing work that fulfills and challenges me. I feel happy each day I arrive and maintain that attitude throughout the day.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

First of all, how sad would life be if this were true? I wouldn't have my mom around or my grandparents or many of my mentors. Also, I would have less than 12 years to live! Eep! While I think I would still be concerned with school and writing, I would also want to live my life more freely. I wouldn't have to worry about saving for a long period of time or opening any time of investment.

I would be more concerned with settling down, though, and having kids. I would want as much time possible with them before I died.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I think it's important for me to take responsibility and say I have controlled it a lot. (While yes, I do credit God for steering my ship, as well.) I'm the one who has made some bad decisions and good decisions. I chose education over journalism, prolonging my undergrad experience and putting me in situations I should never have been in. I let my dad walk all over me, until I finally had enough. I am the girl who strives to be someone people can count on and talk to.

Whose to say where the next 22 years will take me? I hope I still have a semblance of control over my life and can make good decisions and embrace the bad ones for the lessons they'll bring me.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

I am definitely more worried about doing the right things. I know everyone has a moral compass hidden deep within their layers and some of us choose to adhere to what it's telling us, others do not. Morally and ethically, I know what's right and I know what I need to do to keep my conscience clean and God proud of me. I know that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I do something wrong and I hate it.

I just know that I want to be known as a good person and someone who touched lives. I feel like I'm honoring and respecting myself more when I listen to my moral compass and do the right thing.

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 1

Right now, I'm in Orlando! It's Friday so I'm hopefully still sleeping when this posts and gearing up for a day at Disney World! Be jealous.

A while back, Ashley linked to this survey on her Life List and it looked like a really interesting survey to take, with questions that were different and introspective. So, here you go, my first 5 questions on this list answered:

1. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

I would never put my age at 22, or older. I think many bloggers would easily be able to say they act a lot older than their age indicates, but it's not so for me. I would pinpoint my age around 19-20, with the fact that I'm still in school, still live with my mom, have a part-time job where I'm only responsible to pay our phone bill + gas when needed, and have seemingly no responsibility for important issues.

I'm not saying I'm not responsible or mature, and I do think there are certain areas of my life where I do act way above my age. It also doesn't help that I'm constantly mistaken as a high-schooler. But there are some areas of my life that I think I could take a bigger step to fixing and proving myself to be the 22-year-old that I am.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

I think they both are pretty bad. With both instances, you're left with regrets. You're left with what if's. Failing makes you feel like a loser and never trying makes you feel lazy. I will say that the horrible feeling I get in the pit of my stomach from not trying is way worse than the pit I get when I fail. When you fail at something, you learn. You grow. You move on, knowing you won't make that same mistake again. (Hopefully.) But when you live a life of never trying new things and experiences, you can't learn or grow. You become stuck on a stagnant path of nothingness. It's a terribly feeling I know all too well.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like and like so many things we don't do?

I'm having a hard time with this question. I've typed and deleted an answer about 5 times, because it's a hard one to answer. On the one hand, it's just life. Sometimes, you have to do things you don't want to do, like work commitments and spending time with your in-laws. Sometimes, money issues and fears get in the way of things we like but don't do, such as traveling. On the other hand, I think it's because we become comfortable in our shallow worlds where we sit in our bubble of containment, not venturing out to make a difference because we're afraid of what will happen. We're afraid we'll grow and change and become a person with a whole new set of goals and ideals.

4. When it's all said and done, will you have said more than you've done?

I think that's natural. There is so much I want to do, so much I want to see. At 22, I feel like my future is wide open. I feel like I have so much time to do everything and it fills me with such excitement. There are some Big Life Events that I want to happen (such as getting married, becoming a mother, and graduating college) and then there are life experiences that I want to enjoy (such as traveling, getting published, running a half-marathon). I don't think I've ever sit down and come up with a Life List, which is something I should do.

At the end of my life, I hope I can say I lived a fulfilled life, where I touched people. I want to be surrounded by loved ones and know I was happy with myself.

5. What is the one thing you'd most like to change about the world?

Judgment. I would like the world to have less judgment. I think we too quickly judge others by outward appearances too easily. I know I do it. If I kept a tally of how many people I judged in one day, I would be a little embarrassed by the number. I see it all the time at work, with people judging how others dress and take care of their children - even that they have "too many" kids. I see it on TV and magazines and blogs. I know change has to start within. It has to start with me. If I started judging less, maybe it would spark others around me to start judging less. Food for thought, at least.

My 100th Post!

Wow, I can't believe I've made it to 100 posts! I've had millions of blogs floating around the Internet in the past years but never have I had one like this. This blog has changed me and made me really focus on being a writer. And I try to be somewhat interesting!

Anyway, I asked my lovely readers to ask me questions and I got some really good ones! So here we go!

From Pia at Living PrImA: What is your most treasured possession?

Ever since I received this question, I've been thinking really hard about it. I really wanted it to be something meaningful but when I kept asking the question to myself, "What would just kill me if I lost it?" It boiled down to him:

And while I hesitate to call him a "possession," I know it's going to kill me when he passes away. He's so much more than a dog to me. He's like a boyfriend, baby brother, child, and best friend all wrapped up in one adorable package. I can't wait to go home and see him whenever I'm away. I love how he cuddles right up next to me, to the point where it's uncomfortable for me, because he craves nearness. I love squeezing his ears, especially when they're cold. I love his kisses and the way he is the best cuddler I've ever met! I just love him.


From Rachael at Senorita Rachael: What is your favorite class?

Well, right now, my favorite class would have to be my News Editing class. The head of the journalism department teaches it and he's scary and intimidating in a good way. I'm such a grammar Nazi and constantly edit conversations in my head but this class still challenges me and makes me think about grammar and editing in a completely different way. Editing is such an arduous process but completely necessary and it's fun to learn what it all entails.

Of all time, though, my favorite class would have to be a tie between Psychology and a Classroom Managment and Behaviors class. The first one I took while I was in high school (I took college classes for my last 2 years of high school so this was college-level psychology) and the teacher was so much fun and interesting! The information was intense but also extremely interesting, too. The other class was taken during my first semester in the College of Education and I met so many great friends through it and my professor was fantastic. If only she could have been my supervising teacher during my internships, I'm sure I would have passed with no problems! She always had the best stories to tell (she worked with 4th-7th grade for over 25 years) and all the projects I did were fun.

Rachael also asked: I know that your religion is important to you, do you have a favorite Bible passage? I could use a little inspiration.

Romans 6:6-7 which says, "We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin."

First of all, how powerful is that last verse? It gives me chills. And it deals with a lot of what I'm dealing with lately, regarding my spiritual life. Right now, it's an important verse for me to read and meditate on. Sin holds no power over me anymore. Love that.


From Emily Jane at Emily-Jane: What's the biggest dream you hope to achieve in this lifetime?

My biggest dream should come as no shock to anyone: I want to get married and have babies! For me, this is what a fulfilled, happy life looks like. I want to wear a beautiful, white dress and have all eyes on me for one day. I want to experience the give and take a marriage takes. I want to feel life growing inside of me, no matter how painful or uncomfortable it may be. And I want to feel that feeling in the pit of my stomach when my child says, "Mama," to me for the first time.


From Alyssa at My Husband's Watching TV: Would you rather be invisible or have super strength? Why?

Both would be awesome in their own way. It would be neat to just be invisible when I'm feeling uncomfortable in a social situation or somewhere I don't want to be. But then super strength would be cool, too. I mean, who would expect me to be able to lift a semi with my pinkie finger? So I would probably choose super strength, just 'cause it sounds cooler.


From Ashley at Industrious Me: What's your favorite thing to do when you're alone?

I love my alone time. LOVE. I crave it desperately and I really don't know what I'm going to do when I'm married and have little rugrats running around because I love my alone time that much. Anyway, to answer your question, my absolute favorite thing to when I'm alone is reading. I just love getting into my bed, pulling the covers up, cuddling with Dutch, and reading for hours. It's such an escape.


From Amber at Girl With the Red Hair: You are very close to your mom, what's one thing the two of your completely disagree on or fight about?

We really don't fight about much. We get alone pretty well, especially for two women living together and spending most of their time together. Sometimes, I'll say something mean that I is supposed to be funny but just ends up upsetting her. Or I'll have a moment where EVERYTHING is irritating me and I'll just snap at her for no reason. Sometimes, our American Idol discussions can get a little wild and crazy if we don't have the same opinion. But that's about it. There's not much we disagree with.


From Adrienne at Age of Reason: What has been the most defining moment of your 20's?

I think there have been two. From a professional, career standpoint, it was changing my major from education to journalism. I have found so much happiness in this major change, even though I dealt with a lot of setbacks related to financial aid. But this is where I belong and I'm meant to be.

Another defining moment has to be the letter I recently sent to my father. After not speaking a single word to one another for over 2 years, writing that letter felt like a release. I love how I wrote it and how it turned out. My father's response to the letter? Disappointing, sad, and completely what I expected. I'm currently formulating my response to it and trust me, it's not going to be pretty.


From Mandy at Knowing the Difference: Which one post defines you the most?

No question about this one. It was definitely The Letter, which I wrote a few weeks ago. It was such a healing process for me to write.


From Meghan at Blog Voyeur Turned Blogwhore: What's one thing we would be surprised to learn about you that doesn't show through in your blogging?

I think my sense of humor doesn't shine through as much as it does in my daily life. I'm usually serious, and maybe a little bit quirky, here but in real life, I conversate mainly in one-liners and sarcasm. I like making people laugh with comments I didn't think were that funny but end up cracking them up. It takes me a while to get to the level of comfort with people where I can be sarcastic and know I won't hurt their feelings with what I say. But yes, definitely my sense of humor. See? Even this answer wasn't funny!


From Samantha at A Change of Pace: What type of career are you hoping to get into after graduation?

You see, I don't really know. After taking a few classes, I know areas I'm not interested in: I don't want to be a reporter and I don't want to work with any type of design (AT ALL!). I'm really interested in the magazine world and the PR world. I would love to work for some type of ministry, such as Beth Moore' Living Proof. I think it would be really interesting to work in a Christian environment.

I know getting journalism jobs is hard nowadays. So basically, when I graduate, I just want to have a job lined up and not spend the next year working at my preschool! I know I'll have time to explore my options further as I gain more experience. And after working at my internship, working in an office with my own cubicle sounds divine! (And grown-up!)

Also from Samantha: We've learned a lot about what you're looking for in a future hubby lately, and I'd like to know: What type of wedding would you like to have with him, and where would you like to go on your honeymoon?

Honestly, I've never thought about it. Sounds weird, right? I guess I'm more concerned and enthralled by the man I'll be marrying than the one-day ceremony uniting us together. Sometimes I picture a traditional wedding, wearing a gorgeous white gown, in a church. Other times, I picture a more relaxed setting on a beach, in a flowy white dress and barefoot. Sometimes, I picture getting married in a picturesque location with breathtaking views and color-coordinated dresses and flowers.

I know I want a wedding. Every girl does, right? I want beautiful pictures to look at and that special day to remember. I want all eyes to be on me for one day. I want to see the look on my man's face when he sees me walking down the aisle in a beautiful dress.

As for my honeymoon? I'm definitely thinking tropical. Hawaii is a pretty nice locale, don't you think? Days spent relaxing by the pool, trying out different activities, and spending many, many wonderful hours in bed. (HEY! I'll be married!) Oh, I cannot wait!

Thanks for all the questions and sorry if this got lengthy! I loved answering them.