This Weekend, I...

 

• Reactivated my Facebook account. I’ve been on a four-month hiatus and while it was good to be away, it’s also very good to be back.
• Reconnected with one of my best friends and have already made plans for a movie date. I have felt so lost without her in my life that I feel a little more centered.
• Attended my third boot camp. It doesn’t seem to be getting any easier but I’m finding myself able to make it through the exercises without wanting to rip out my lungs. I consider this major progress.
• Felt completely devoid of any creative energy. I had planned on getting a few scheduled posts out on Saturday but a huge writing assignment on Friday seemed to zap all my creativity.
• Bought my first bag of Robin’s Eggs of this Easter season... that supposedly starts in February now?
• Saw my nephew, recovering from his surgery on Friday. He’s still feeling punky, but doing well. (Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers!)
• Came to a lot of decisions on what I want my word for 2012 to truly embody. And while I feel so far away from the word health lately, it’s only February. And taking a step back, acknowledging my mistakes, and deciding to grow from it is all I can do right now.
• Finished my 14th book of this year.
• Designed a little cleaning chart for my mom and I to use. I’ve grown incredibly lax on cleaning and the chart is more for me, to make sure I’m holding up my end of the chores.
• Went on a movie date with my brother. Our last one was in 2006 so we were very overdue. I’m so glad I have such a close relationship with him and that he’s one of my closest friends.
• Announced the March #twookclub book: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close! It wasn’t my pick, but what I love most about book clubs is the opportunity to read a book you wouldn’t otherwise pick up. I can’t wait to dig in!

Just a quick note! My giveaway ends tonight! I’m giving away one pre-made design from Yellow & Savvy Design’s Etsy shop. Your choice! I’ll announce the winner tomorrow.

Have you ever deactivated your Facebook account? If not, would you ever do it?

School-Less September

It’s my first September without school. I can’t even remember a time, aside from summers, when I wasn’t preparing for school. For classes, for tests, for papers.

And you know what? I don’t miss it one bit. Sure, sometimes I get nostalgic about going to class and being in the college environment but it quickly passes as I realize how much freedom I have now. And how my weekends and nights are filled with things I want to do, not assignments and long classes to sit through.

I didn’t have the “normal” college experience, but I can’t say I regret it. I entered college at 16, thanks to a new charter school in my area that allowed me to earn high school credit for college courses. When I started at USF, I was 18 and had two years of college behind me. I was placed in a freshman dorm and full of excitement of what the college experience would bring me. At 18, I was ready to have a normal college experience.

Well, I hated living on campus. More specifically, I hated living in a dorm room. (And the fact that my roommate and I were polar opposites and didn’t get along at all didn’t help.) I’ve come to realize I need my space and a place to be alone and you don’t get that in a dorm. Luckily, my roommate was gone more than she was around but it was a big adjustment for me and I didn’t take to it well. It was especially hard to be locked out of my room so she could have sex with her boyfriend. I spent countless hours in the bookstore and common area to do homework and study for tests thanks to her. (For me, I get distracted way too easily in public places to ever be focused and productive.)

I moved back home after the year on campus. (My roommate moved into another room in the Spring, leaving me with my own space for 4 months. Those may have been the best 4 months of my life.) I struggled to get involved and find friends, roommate issues nonwithstanding. At 18, I was even more socially awkward and painfully shy than I am now so it was just a bad situation for me to be in. I was burrowing even farther into my shell and knew moving back home was what I needed to do for me at that time.

I became a commuter student for the next year and completed two student teaching internships. A few weeks after moving back, I started working at a preschool, a job I loathed. In the summer of 2008, I was working for a printing shop that was dying and preparing for my last semester of college.

Well, the last semester of college ended up being the start of a new school path for me. The internship was terrible and I left before it was over, broken and unsure of what to do with my life. After a few weeks of searching my heart, I chose a new major: Journalism. Writing had been a passion of mine for a very long time, but majoring in it had never even crossed my mind.

The next two and a half years were spent in journalism classes, a second daycare job that was much smoother than my previous, and living at home. It was hard. My entire life revolved around my job and school. There was barely enough time to breathe Mondays - Thursdays. There were no coffee dates before class, strolling around campus, or waking up 15 minutes before my class started. Since my weekdays were filled with work and classes, my weekends were my catch-up days for homework and studying.

For the first time, I have absolute freedom to do what I want. I have a full-time job that is pushing me just my like classes in college did, except I’m getting paid to be pushed. I have my nights and weekends for myself. I don’t have the pressing worries of upcoming papers or presentations or huge projects. I can simply be. I feel more in the moment, more alive. I am happier. More fulfilled. Less stagnant.

My college years were different than most, that’s for sure. But I tried the normal route and that’s not the path I was meant to take. I can’t regret it, but I don’t look back upon those years with fondness. I don’t long for the “carefree” days of college. (If anything, I feel more carefree now than when I was a student.) That was then, this is now. I needed that time for me, to get a degree and gain knowledge in the field of journalism and media. But that chapter of my life is over. And while I can’t say for certain I will never be a student again, I can say that I’m glad those days are behind me.

How did you feel your first “September” out of college?

A Grocery Dilemma

via 

My mom and I have a serious problem. A serious spending problem. In August alone, we have spent around $710 on groceries.

For two people.

That’s ridiculous.

When I read about others’ grocery budgets and bills, I am in awe of how little you manage to spend. I know eating healthy is more expensive than eating junk, but I also know you can eat healthy on a budget.

Our problem doesn’t simply lie with our weekly trips to Publix, it’s also those little midweek trips we like to take when we only need to buy a few things, but always seems to be at least $30.

I need your help, blog friends. In a big way. How the heck do you guys keep your grocery bills so low?!

Here are some statistics on our grocery problem:

• Toiletries are included in the $710. We’re thinking of doing a separate biweekly toiletries trip at Target. How do you shop for toiletries?
• We usually buy our meat in small quantities, to only use for one meal. This tends to be very wasteful, though, so is bulk the way to go?
• We buy our fruit/veggies at the grocery store. Our Farmer’s Market doesn’t open until October 1st.
• We only buy weekly now, though I would like to switch to biweekly.
• We do use coupons, but only the ones from the Sunday paper generally and they don’t yield us a whole lot in savings.

There is a Sam’s Club 6 miles from where I live and a Costco around 8 miles from me. While I would like to start shopping at a bulk-food store, we just haven’t gotten around to it yet. Is it worth it?

Any help, tips, and/or smacks upside the head for being such a shopping dimwit are greatly appreciated!

These Days…

 

...I am finally seeing the end in sight. After two hardcore weeks of writing and studying, the end is near. It felt as if my to-do list was so long but as I began to cross off assignments and submit my work, I could see the finish line. Currently, I have one final left. It’s a take-home exam consisting of a 1,500-word opinion essay, due Monday night. Once that is completed, I will have finished my last assignment of my college career!

...I am no longer doubting graduation. I have spent the last 4 months preparing myself for the worst: not graduating. It started with being in the wrong lab for my Spanish class and having to submit paperwork to get it changed. There were questions of passing Spanish. And then I began to worry that a major article I submitted would make my professor doubt my abilities as a writer, saying I haven’t learned enough in the past two years and couldn’t graduate. All worries were unfounded. I will pass all my classes and I will graduate.

...I find myself in awe of what will happen 9 days from now. Graduation. From college. It feels so surreal, since I was so close to graduation before, and it’s finally happening. I will have a Bachelor’s degree. It’s an amazing, amazing accomplishment. And I am so proud of myself.

...I am one of the few people chosen for the second round of interviews for a very special company I badly want to work for. The job is perfect for me, allowing me to utilize my degree as well as challenge myself, both personally and professionally. On Monday, I will shadow an employee at said company all day to get a feel for my responsibilities and the people I will be working with. I’m very interested in what Monday will bring!

...I am getting back into the swing of exercise after a long break. With my schedule, there just wasn’t time to fit in exercise and I found out how much I missed it. Yesterday, I went for my first run in a long time and it felt awesome to break a sweat!

...My Friday nights have turned into one of the best nights of my week: Bible study. My grandparents, two of the most knowledgeable people about faith I know, are helping my mom and I to understand who God is and what His promises are better. I am learning so much from this. I’m usually afraid to speak up in other Bible studies, for fear I’ll look incredibly stupid and naive. I don’t feel this way when I ask my grandma questions a girl who has been attending church since she was a baby should know. These nights are priceless.

...I feel so blessed when I think about blog friends. It’s been such a blessing to see how many of you are rooting for me and cheering me on with this whole job situation. Sometimes, I wonder if I should have waited until I knew whether or not I got the job, but then I know how fun it will be to go back through my Twitter feed and see what an amazing week this has been for me. Even if I don’t get the job, it was still worth it. And I have to give a huge shout-out to a girl I consider a best friend, Sam, who has been cheering me on since the beginning, calming my fears about finding a job and being excited for me about this opportunity. Everyone needs a friend like her.

...I can’t help but imagine life as a full-time employee, making a paycheck that will be a lot more than I’m making now (just a smidge over minimum wage, and I’m only working 20 hours a week). I’m imagining actually supporting myself and not having to come to my mom for every little purchase. But no, I have not (I REPEAT NOT) looked at websites to buy a car. Absolutely not. I would not do that to myself. Gosh. Why would you even think that?!

photo credit

Weekend Recap

This weekend was jam-packed with shopping, family time, and new experiences. It was a busy one, but one of those weekends that you need every once in a while. I love my weekends where I don’t do much but catch up on sleep and laze around the house, but it’s also nice to actually do something on the weekend!

In bullet format:

• I started my weekend at 10:30am on Friday, which is earlier than I normally get off work. But I was happy, since it meant I could go home and start on a paper I have due on Wednesday. (Of course, I spent the majority of the time online window shopping, but we just won't talk about that.)
  
• Since my poor dog, Dutch, hadn't been feeling well for the past few days, we scheduled a vet appointment at 2 p.m. on Friday. On Wednesday night, he started acting real funny. He didn't eat, didn't want to be around anyone, and would whimper when we picked him up. He started feeling better towards the latter part of the week, but we took him in anyway to make sure it wasn't something serious. And we found out he had a slight fever! Poor thing, it was 103.6 and a normal temperature for a dog is 102, so he was sent home with antibiotics to bring it down. He did get a regular check-up and blood work done, all which turned out fine. We'll be going back next week to get his shots done, but he has had lots of cuddle time this weekend! It's just so sad when your pet is sick.
  
• On Saturday morning, my mom and I made a trip to International Mall in Tampa to get new running shoes! I was extremely happy with my purchase and I have a post to write on my experience with that. Because it was an experience!
  
• The afternoon and evening was spent celebrating my nephew's 2nd birthday! I cannot even believe this little bug is already two. Where did the years go? I still remember him as this sleepy newborn...and now he's a rambunctious, hilarious two-year-old. It was a blast hanging out with him and being silly for a day. He's the funnest kid you could ever hang out with.
  
• On Sunday morning, my mom and I woke up bright and early to join a running group for a run in Tampa. The place we ran was unbelievably beautiful and filled with runners, walkers, bikers, and roller-bladers. I really wish we had a place like that near us. It was also my mom's first time running since her accident and she did pretty good! I can't wait until she gets into the swing of things again, since it's her absolute favorite thing to do. It's going to take a while, especially being away for over 6 weeks and dealing with a broken elbow, but she's a trooper! She is still planning on running the Disney Marathon in January, although she will have to adjust her training schedule a lot to account for this.
  
• Sunday afternoon and evening was spent watching football and finishing up a novel I've been reading for weeks. (It took forever for this book to get interesting!)
  
• I disconnected this weekend. Not as crazy as I did during my week-long media fast earlier this year, but I wasn't as connected as I usually am. It felt refreshing to not need to be so attached, even if it did feel a little weird to open up Twitter and see all these conversations that I had no idea about. Still, it's definitely something I want to keep doing.
  
• The week ahead is going to be busy with two very long days on Wednesday and Thursday, but I'm prepared for it. Somewhat.

Two Game Nights, Two Sets of Twins, and a Lazy Sunday

I don’t typically do weekend recap posts, mainly because my weekends usually consist of a lot of sleep, blog reading, and cleaning. But this weekend was drastically different. I actually did stuff. It felt great.

Friday night was, by far, one of the most fun nights I’ve had in a very long time. Here’s the short back story: Tamy is a good, good friend of our family who used to baby-sit my mother and her brothers when they were younger. She used to live in St. Pete. Tamy then went on to marry and have her own kids. My mom baby-sat for her kids. My mom went on to marry and have my brother and I. One of Tamy’s daughters, Talyse, baby-sat for us. The last time I saw Talyse, I was five years old. About a year or so ago, we all reconnected on The Facebook. Then I found out Talyse has a BLOG! So while this isn’t technically meeting a blog friend (since she’s actually a real life friend, first), it was my first experience of meeting someone via the blogosphere. Everyone always talks about how meeting someone whose blog you read is different than meeting someone any other way because you know them already. This statement is totally true, social disaster that I am. I felt immediately comfortable and at ease with Talyse and meeting her babies felt like meeting celebrities I just read about weekly! There they were – in person! (And, ohmygod, they are adorable. I just wanted to gobble them up.)

We spent some time with the babies, who are amazing miracles born at 29.5 weeks. They spent 55 days in the NICU and are just proof of God’s grace and mercy of how far they’ve come since then. They’re 18 months now and so darn precious. Kyran is the flirt and has no problem attaching to other people. He’s silly and goofy and cuddly. Karyssa is a lot more reserved than him and is very shy. Surprisingly, she warmed up to my mom rather quickly – proving that she’s still got it. Karyssa was still a little unsure about me, but Kyran became my new BFF within 5 seconds so it’s all good. 

Once the babies were asleep, and by asleep I mean she simply put them in their playpens and walked out of the room, it was time for games! For the next four or so hours, we played Apples to Apples. We had a good-sized group of 7 people, which I think makes the game a lot more fun. I’ve been wanting to play this game but we never have enough people to play it the right way. There are a lot of 4+ games we can tweak to make them 2-person or 3-person games, but A2A is not one of them. Anyway, it was such a fun game! I had a blast with reading the ridiculous answers, giving ridiculous answers, lobbying for my ridiculous answers, and laughing way too much. My face and sides hurt from all the laughter!

We didn’t leave the condo until 12:30am, which is LATE for me. I felt like a wild woman! Since my mom had to be at work early in the morning & Talyse and everyone was leaving to travel back to South Carolina the next day, we had to pack it in early. (Well, early for all normal 20somethings.) It was a fun night and I wish Talyse lived around here so we could visit more often. Just having a few hours was not enough.

I slept in until 12:30pm on Saturday, which felt AWESOME. We ended up having my 15-year-old cousins come over for a game night, which was loads of fun. I love these girls fiercely and I don’t spend as much time with them as I should. They’re growing up and are so much fun to be around. We can be totally sarcastic with one another in one breath, and in the next, totally deep and introspective with our thoughts. My mom and I want to make this a more common thing and have made some plans for the future. They are awesome girls, with the same issues and thoughts that most fifteen-year-olds are dealing with, and I just want to be there for them when they need a soft place to land.

We ordered pizza. (Yes, I had pizza two nights in a row.) And then settled in for a night of games. We played Buzzword, Mad Gab, and Clue. We also talked a lot. I think they needed a night like this, so I’m hoping to do it more and more so they know they have my mom & me if they would ever need anything.

Sunday was a lazy day, where I talked my mom into skipping church and going out to breakfast. And then we basically watched some TV, read, and napped. I love Sundays were you can just be lazy and recharge from the weekend to get ready for a busy week ahead. It felt wonderful.

I’m starting back at my internship this week, working for 3 hours, 2 days a week. I’m excited to get back and feel the energy and challenge from the projects again. And I miss the atmosphere and people! It’ll be nice to not be so lazy every day. I’m looking forward to it, even if it does mean missing out on afternoon naps.

A Jumble of Thoughts

I’ve never been one of those bloggers whose been afraid to write about how I really feel, in fear I’ll lose followers or not receive comments. I’m not someone who likes to sugarcoat the truth, even when it means other people will have tons to say about it. I like reading blogs where people really get personal about their feelings and let it all hang loose. Life is not one big, giant pile of happiness. It’s messy, tough, and hard. This is a post that I’m writing more for me than anyone else. Because, quite honestly, I feel like my life is in shambles right now.

I don’t know when I started to realize that I’m not living my life to its fullest potential. Maybe it happened a few months ago, maybe it happened during last semester but I was too busy keeping my head above water to notice, maybe it’s been an ongoing process for years. The truth is, it fills me with deep regret and bitterness. I want so much out of life, but I feel like I’m so unwilling to do what I need to do to reach it.

My relationship with God is basically non-existent. I go to church on Sundays and I cannot help but feel completely at home there. I could listen to praise and worship music for hours. I love the atmosphere, the preaching, and the people. I leave there determined to get serious about my faith, even if it means leaving behind life as I know it. Yet I come home and fall back into the same old patterns of laziness. I haven’t had a consistent quiet time period since I spent a year on campus in 2006-2007. Back then, I felt so lost and alone. It was the first time I realized that I needed Jesus and I clung to Him. It was such a horrible time in my life, but such an awesome time in my faith. Since then, I’ve been a lazy believer.

I cannot even tell you the amount of times I doubt my faith. It’s really scary, because I know the truth. I know what I believe in. Yet the world is throwing all these different ideas and morals my way that it causes me to wonder what’s right and what’s wrong. I know what’s right, but I want to do what’s wrong, even when all it does is fill me with guilt.

I thought once I was done with my semester, I would be happier. My stress levels would be so much lower, I would have more time for work and exercise. I would be more well-rested. And I would have more time for me. That has been the case. I have had so much me time, it’s insane. But I find myself going to work, going through the motions of the day, coming home and napping for three hours. I’ll wake up so disorientated I won’t even know what day it is, or even if it’s daytime or nighttime. I’ll lay around for about an hour, then hit the gym. Throw in a few hours to read blogs and watch TV, then crawling back into bed at 11 PM, only to do it all over the next day. It’s such a boring way to live. There’s no excitement, no challenges. Life is seemingly passing me by and I’m just watching it with wistfulness in my gaze.

When I get home from work, I have hours with which to do amazing things. I can write more, connect with the online community, take a class at a local rec center, volunteer, take my dog on long walks, help out more around the house, cook complicated recipes, learn more about the area in which I live. Yet I choose to take a nap. I choose to be lazy and non-committal. I choose a mundane life.

I feel like my family unit is falling apart. Things are great between my mother and my brother and I. My nephew is a delight. But then there are other issues looming between other family members that just tears at my soul. I’m not going to dive into them because it’s not fair to them for me to do that but suffice it to say that we are entering a time where we need to pull together even more, and it seems like we’re all dividing. Am I to blame for some of the dividing? You bet! I’ll be the first to admit. But it eats at me that everything has come to this. I want to do something to change it, but I’m scared to take the first step. I’m so damn scared to hold out my hand and offer to help because all I think I’ll get is a dirty look.

I’ve never been one who has wanted to live the life of a normal twentysomething. On most days, I’m happy with the fact that I live a fairly homebody lifestyle where my mom is my best friends. Yet there are times when I wish I were different. I wish I had a close knit of girlfriends with whom to spend weekend nights, having hilarious jokes with, and go on crazy adventures with. I don’t have that. I’ve never had that. I barely know anybody personally that’s my age (and doesn’t want to spend weekend nights at the bars, getting drunk and kissing random guys). Yet again, I’m scared to take the first step. I’m scared to ask someone to hang with me, even if we’re not the best of friends. How does a fairly shy and quiet 22-year-old go about making a brand-new circle of friends? Is that even possible?!

And let’s not forget about my dad. Let’s not forget about the fact that the one man who is supposed to love and support me, unconditionally, does not. Throughout my entire life, I’ve lived in fear of him. I’ve never been able to tell him how I feel, truly feel. He has a terrible temper on him and it’s scary when it’s unleashed on you. When I was five, he yelled at me and reduced me to tears because I couldn’t tie my shoes. When I was ten, he yelled at me when I was sick with the flu and he had to clean up my mess. It’s been so hard for me to truly believe people could like me for me. I haven’t even been able to have a successful relationship with a guy because fear has taken hold of my heart. If my own father couldn’t love me, what makes me think some random guy could? has been a constant thought circulating throughout my head. It took me 22 years to be able to finally tell him how I feel. And I had to tell him this through e-mail. I’m still not sure I could tell him this to his face. His return e-mail was mean and nasty, full of hatred. I didn’t read it, although my mom and brother did. I need a clean break from him. I need to move on. I need to learn how to forgive him. Right now, I’m so caught up in bitterness and hatred that it’s hard to see past that. And it’s been doing a number on my emotions, as of late.

I need a plan. Writing this blog post has helped me see areas in my life that I want to work on. And now I need to figure out how to change my life to reflect the person I want to become.

---

On a completely unrelated note, I’m guest-posting over at Krysten’s blog today with her “Where I Live Wednesdays” feature. Check it out!

A State of Flux

Ever since the semester ended, I've been in a weird place. As crazy, time consuming, and hectic as last semester was, I enjoyed it. I was challenged beyond belief, exhausted by 10 AM, and more busy than I have ever been. But there was freedom in that. I was stretching and growing as a person and as a student. I was given tasks to complete and I did them, some greater than my biggest expectation.

And now I'm back to an easy, go with the flow life. I wake up at 5:30 AM, go to work, come home, watch a little TV, take a nap, read some blogs, rinse and repeat. There's no challenge, no focus, no excitement. It's back to my same blah existence that I had before. Sure, I felt better rested and less crazy but there's something magical about being busy and crazy. Something that makes you stand up and enjoy life.

I want that back. I want to be busy again. I want a new challenge.

I've been thinking a lot about goals. Where do I want to be this time next year? Who do I want to be? How can I stretch myself as a person? What's my five-year plan?

I made three New Year's resolutions which are pretty straight-to-the-point. I like those resolutions and have kept them at the forefront of my mind this year as I seek to achieve them by December 31. I have a "101 in 1001" goals list that keeps me motivated to take on new tasks and challenges.

But I want something bigger than that. I want to set some big goals and figure out how I am going to achieve them. I want to sit down and come up with a list of where/who I want to be in five years. I want to start living my life with intention every single day.

I never aimed to live the life of a normal college-aged girl. But I also never aimed to live the life of an eighty-year-old. I want to experience more of life, get a taste of the night life and traveling. I want to go to bed exhausted, but thrilled about my life. I want excitement, growth, change.

Next week, I'm going to start a week-long media fast. I'll disable Twitter and Facebook from my phone. I'm not going to read any blogs (so, um, don't post anything exciting. 'Kay?) or even go on the Internet. I'm allowing myself one hour of TV a night. I just want to take a step back from this fast-paced, high-tech digital world and find peace within myself. I want to take time in prayer with God, reading my Bible and doing my Bible study. I want to journal on paper and talk about things I'm too scared to bring to life on my blog. I want to experience life and not worry about sending a tweet about it the minute it happens. I want to figure out what I want out of life and how to get that.

I'm drifting right now. I'm not exactly sure where I want life to take me. I'm not exactly sure who I want along for the ride. But I'm just not happy with life right now. I want to take the negativity out and bring in the positive. I want to remember what it's like to be head over heels for Christ. And I want to reconnect with myself. I want to find myself again, away from Stephany Writes.

Grateful

I’ve been in a very blah kind of mood lately. I don’t really know why this is, other than some changes happening in my life and all the bad eating I did this week. I remember listening to the radio one day and a guest they had on talking about negativity and how we need to discover what is good in our lives, instead of focusing on all the bad.

And there is a lot of good in my life…

• I have a job. Albeit, I’m no longer working with a good friend who I had so much in common with and enjoyed working with, nor am I working with the best 2- and 3-year-olds who will ever live, but I do have a job. My hours have not been drastically cut, even though our numbers are low. And I do get to work with adorable toddlers, ages 13-16 months. Cuteness personified.
• I have the ability to attend a pretty awesome university with an accredited journalism program. I’ve talked about what my summer is going to look like and it’s not going to be an easy, breezy summer like I had hoped. But this summer gets me one step closer to graduation and offers me the challenge of growing and stretching myself. I’m lucky enough to have a mother who can support me and who does so in every facet of my life.
• I’m starting to understand this health thing. Granted, I had a bad week last week as I was in a mini-vacation mode. But I’m committed to living a healthier lifestyle and I understand what this entails now. It’s not so much about choosing foods that give me less points, but choosing foods that may be higher in points but as higher in fullness levels and with less bad stuff in them.
• My 19-month-old nephew, who is an absolute joy. He is at an age where he’s talking more, being silly, and just so much fun to be around. When I take pictures with him, he wraps his arm around my neck and gives the silliest, goofiest grin. He gets angry when we reprimand him and it’s probably the funniest thing you will ever see! I love this little boy with all of my heart and you really cannot ever be in a bad mood around him. He’s too funny!
  
• This blog community. I’ve been blogging for years before I started this blog and I never knew about this amazing community of bloggers. I’ve become friends with some amazing people who just make me smile with their supportive comments. I just love reading about your lives and all of you seriously inspire me.

Your turn! What are you grateful for today?

Mission: Accomplished

On Thursday, I was given my first "mission" at my internship. I was going to have to call a whole bunch of businesses, radio stations, and newspapers to talk about a promotional item and see if they were interested.

Let's repeat. I had to call major businesses, radio stations, and newspapers. Do I need to remind you of my phone phobia? My phone phobia where sometimes I'm so nervous to make a doctor's appointment that I keep putting it off? I knew this was going to be a test of my abilities and it was extremely nerve-wracking, especially since I was calling from my cubicle where everyone in the office could hear me. But I called these places (about 20 total) and it wasn't as awful as I first suspected. It actually ended up being kind of fun! Imagine that! I would definitely chalk this down as a Good Experience.

After calling the places, I then had to hand-deliver the items. Doesn't sound too bad, does it? Only problem was, I had to deliver them downtown, which is full (FULL!) of one-way streets. And sure, I've grown up in this area but always in the northern part. I've ventured down to downtown a few times but I'm either a.) not driving or b.) know exactly where I'm going. (My university is downtown but super easy to find.)

Hand-delivering the show tickets was just the beginning of my mission. I'll give a quick recap:

• I turned left down a street and couldn't seem to find where to turn exactly so I ended up driving through the bus stop lane. Luckily, there was nobody around and no buses during that time but can we spell e m b a r r a s s i n g?
• MapQuest gave me completely wrong directions and I ended up in a boating park. (Thank God for the GPS on my phone.)
• I was so flustered by the wrong directions MapQuest gave me, that I stopped for probably 5 minutes at a stop sign until finally realizing it was a stop sign and not a red light.
• While turning right onto a street, I hit a curb badly. And I'm talking made the back end of the car bounce and the CD skip badly. I don't think the tire is ruined (yet) but it scared me. I would be lying if I didn't almost start crying and wishing for my mom at that moment.
• I stopped at 2 green lights for a full 2 minutes.
• I parked at a few metered parking spots and had to rush to my destination, hand over the items, and rush back to my car. I was scared to death I was going to get a ticket for sitting at a metered parking spot for 3 minutes!
  
• I drove past so many streets, it wasn't even funny. (Especially when it's noon and the only food in your body is have a bowl of soggy cornflakes. I don't function well when I'm starving and weak.) And since I'm downtown and around one-way streets, if you drive past the street you need to be on, you have to drive at least five blocks to the next available street to turn on to get to where you need to be.
  

All in all, it was an adventure. But it was also fun. It was neat going to all these different places and seeing the people who worked there. I went to an art studio for one delivery and for the first time in my life, I thought about becoming an artist. (But since I can't draw a stick figure without messing it up, I know that's not the path for me.) And I'm learning more and more about downtown and I'm hoping my next adventure won't be as crazy.

I knew this internship would stretch me as a person. I would have to do things I wasn't totally comfortable with and get over my fears. And it's doing that. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and stepping into the path of a career woman. It's scary, exciting, frightening, and thrilling. It's a slow process but I'm getting there.

And that feeling in the pit of my stomach when I take a leap of faith out of my comfort zone and into something completely different that Old Stephany? It's amazing. And I want to have that feeling every day.

There's a new post on my weight loss blog: Blogging to Lose. This week, I'm talking about taking this whole healthy lifestyle approach slow and steady. Check it out!

Weekend Recap

This little break from work and school has been so delicious and much-needed. I have been so busy with everything I have due for school. Luckily, things are winding down and I only have 6 assignments left, including finals. And no more presentations! I gave my last presentation on Tuesday and am so happy to be done with those. They scare me to death.

I've been trying to figure out a way to recap my weekend, which includes my 10K race, Thanksgiving, my birthday, and my new hairstyle. So I just decided to recap it all in one. Sort of.

10K race
I'm actually giving this aspect of my weekend its own post tomorrow. I've never competed in a 10K, not that I actually competed in this one. I wasn't very excited to have to get up super early (5:30 a.m.) for this race and I haven't been running consistently. I'll talk more about it tomorrow, but let's just say I was extremely proud of myself at the end of the 10K.


Thanksgiving Dinner
I love my family and I just love our Thanksgiving dinner tradition. It's nothing spectacular or amazing. We just all convene at my grandmother's house. My grandma and grandpa cook the dinner. The rest of us "help" or watch football. We eat. My mom and grandma clean up while the rest of us just sit around and watch football. It's my tradition, something I love.

Last year, my nephew was 2 months old at Thanksgiving and slept through the whole thing. This year, he was the center of attention and the biggest entertainer!

Haircut
So, I finally got my haircut on Friday afternoon. And by finally, I mean FY-NUH-LEE! I haven't had a haircut since the end of March. My hair was full of dead ends, grown-out layers, and dying hair color. So I had it dyed again. (Oh, look! A pun! Hehe.) And then cut. It feels so much lighter and easier to manage now, even though the length isn't too different.

This was my hair on Wednesday. Pretty long, kinda blonde.

And my new hair! Brown, a little bit shorter, with bangs!

Birthday
Saturday was my birthday. I turned 22. It sounds old to me. Twenty-two. I still feel like I'm fifteen. It was a good day. I slept in and then went out to breakfast with my mom. I had a very unhealthy, calorie-ridden breakfast that was so good I wanted to cry. And then we spent a few hours at Busch Gardens but we came to the realization that BG is turning into a family park. Only four rollercoasters, two of which we don't ride. The rest of the park is for kids! And everything they're building is family-centered. It's a little annoying.

We came home, relaxed for a bit, and then went out for dinner at Carrabba's. I tried a martini but yuck. I need my alcohol watered down. A lot. The aftertaste of a heavily alcohol-ed beverage makes me cringe. I don't know. Maybe it's an acquired taste. The dinner was good, even though I filled myself up on bread and could barely finish my meal. That's always been a problem for me.


All in all, a fun weekend. I managed to get a good portion of my homework done today and took tomorrow off from work. Yay, me! I have yet another day to sleep in, even though I do have class at 2pm. I cannot wait to get this semester over with! As of December 8th, I will have 4 weeks of complete freedom. Happiness.

Operation: Move

It's been over a week since I last updated, thanks to no Internet connection at the new apartment. I found this out on Saturday, cried about it a little (I'm serious), and moved on. I've been able to get any homework I need to get done when I'm at school and today I woke up early to take my mom to work and then head over to Panera Bread to work on more homework. Yay, me.

And since I'm finished with my homework and it's not even 9:30 a.m., I thought a blog post was in order.

Mom and I spent Friday, Saturday, and Sunday moving. We moved the majority of our boxes on Friday, mostly cleaned the old apartment on Saturday, and moved the rest of it on Sunday. On Sunday, my brother also helped move the big stuff. He has a big truck and big muscles. Big muscles, as in, he can carry a couch all by himself. By himself! Mom and I, together, couldn't even carry our 28-inch TV. (Granted, it's not one of those fancy-shmancy flat screens but a big, black, clunky one.) His help was greatly appreciated.

The apartment is great, we love it! There are so many pluses to this new place. Mainly, our financial situation is going to look a LOT better as our rent will be a LOT cheaper. We have an amazing view, a fantastic apartment manager, and I have a ceiling fan in my room! For some reason, this excites me greatly.

The place is a lot smaller than our old apartment but we didn't use half the space of the old one. The appliances are a little older but we can deal. We also don't have a washer/dryer in our unit. The last time we had to use a laundromat, I was in middle school. Luckily, our laundry room is just a few steps from our apartment so it's not too bad. (Can you tell I'm a bit of a glass-half-full type of girl?)

All in all, I'm pretty happy. I'll be even happier when we have Internet, better cable, and MONEY! Mom and I will be sitting down sometime this weekend and working out our budget. We need to get caught up on all our credit card bills and also start saving money. I've had $1.00 in my savings account for 3 years now. It'd be nice to get in the double digits, at least.

The mantra for this week is that it's going to get better. Things are tough right now but they will get better. We're both so happy with the decision we made and I can't wait for the day my mom can put in her two week's notice at her second job! (I'm shooting for March!)

Stress Demon, Part Two

See these boxes? They weren't supposed to grace our apartment for another couple of weeks.

Yet, here they are. Why? Because our move-in date was bumped up 3 weeks. Our apartment complex decided to give a new tenant our apartment with a move-in date of October 5th. (Coincidentally, our lease doesn't expire until October 15th.) We talked with the awesome Heather at our new apartment complex and were able to snag an apartment quickly.

In August, Mom and I decided to move. We're living in a beautiful apartment in a beautiful complex. It's a gated community with covered parking, granite countertops, and a full-size washer/dryer in every unit. But it's way too expensive for us. We need to downsize and found a perfect little community that fit our budget.

So, when I said I was stressed before? Man, I didn't even know! We only have one week to pack. We also have to set up cable and liability insurance before move-in. And the move-in fees? $1,400, which, thankfully, includes October's rent. Basically, money is going to be non-existant for me until my next paycheck in October. Honestly, right now, I have no idea how we're going to work this out. Money issues are keeping me up at night.

My mom sent my apartment complex an e-mail Thursday night to tell them we are able to move out before October 5th. (Although, frankly, I would've waited until Monday and let her sweat all weekend about it.) And now the office manager has been acting very strange. Before, when she told us about the new tenant, it was all roses: You'll get any unused rent and your security deposit. And now? She's telling us that any damages and cleaning they'll have to do will be taken out of the security deposit.

Under normal circumstances, this would be fine. But these are not normal circumstances. We are, in a sense, being rushed out of our apartment. We won't have the time (or the money) to clean the carpets. (Which is our main concern.) Everything else will be spic-and-span. My mom once read some reviews about our complex after we moved in here and one lady talked about how awful they were to her when she moved out. And how much they overcharged her. And it looks like the same might be happening to us.

Anyway, it's going to be a long week. I still haven't gotten the OK to take Friday and Monday off from my job, which I'm worried about. We have so much stuff to pack and get rid of. And I have 3 exams this week and a paper due.

Honestly, I just want to bypass the next 3 weeks. I want to be all settled into the new apartment with money in my bank account.